I grew up around rules and regulations that dealt with God, but somehow the relationship was lost in the mix. There was so much focus on what needed to be done, and what the next important step was to take your religious faith to a new level. It seemed that the next flag became more important than the actual finish line and all that was in between faded in the background. My husband and I, coming from the same religious background, we came from the same religious views, and we walked down the same religious path. We were taught a lot, and we knew a lot, but yet, we hadn't experienced enough.
I knew there was a God, but I didn't know Him. I knew He existed, but I didn't experience Him.
It wasn't until my husband lost his job in 2009, my world turned upside down. What about my schooling? What about Aislynn's schooling? What about our bills? Our cars? Our apartment rent? What about food? What about everything?? And what about God? Where was He?? Didn't He care? Didn't He know what kind of mess we were in? Didn't He know what kind of hardships we were about to endure? Where was He and why didn't He care?? How could He let this happen??
Those months were the hardest months of my entire life. We had no way out, and in my husband's line of work, when its bad its real bad, but when its good, its real good. He wasn't the only one who shared the bad news with their family that day, but He was the only one to try and figure out how to get out of this mess. I was going to school full time, and Aislynn was also in school. We didn't have many choices. Our only choice at that point was to rely on God; something we never really had to do in all of our lives.
You mean I had to rely on somebody I hardly knew? Someone who I am told to trust, yet never developed a relationship with? How's that supposed to happen?
Well it did. At a stop light in Cypress, TX. On my way home from school. KSBJ was on, and so were my nerves. They were in a mass of confusion, sadness, worry, helplessness... you name it. All I wanted to do was cry, and all I wanted was for things to get better, and for everything to go back to the way they were. I sat in Houston's 5pm rush hour traffic, and I laid my head back, and closed my eyes for just a second. God touched my heart that moment, and as tears filled my eyes, peace filled my heart. There in that very moment, I knew Him. I experienced Him. I felt His presence like I never had before. I cried the rest of the way home, and I knew I was on the path of somewhere else; somewhere I'd never traveled before; somewhere of hope, of love, of peace, of happiness.
{For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -- Matthew 6:32-34}
God took away Jr's job for a reason, and although it was extremely rough, it extremely changed my life, and then shortly changed His. We still have a long way to go in our faith as individuals and as a one, but we're glad we're important enough for Him to want and have the need to dramatically and radically change our lives.
We're still learning. We're still healing. We're still praising! We're still faithfully believing! Our God is an AWESOME God, and He never said it would easy. In fact He said we will go through trials and tribulations in this lifetime. But He also said, He would never leave us nor forsake us.
{I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. -- John 16:33}
Thank you, Lord, for your unfailing LOVE! Help us to become true disciples of your Kingdom. Mold us into the vessels needed to do the works of Your Kingdom. We will follow You all the days of our life! You are worthy, Lord!
btw. The purpose of this post isn't to offend, and wasn't to say who's faith is "right" and who's faith is "wrong". Its to say, there is no religion with God. He isn't impressed by the literal steps we take, but more so by the spiritual steps we take. Its about that beautiful, awesome, like no other relationship with Him. Its about knowing Him. Its about experiencing Him. However you do this, you're doing it right! Don't let anybody ever tell you different! Live and live faithfully and fearfully!
{Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. -- John 14:6}
Faith, love, & a Stop Light,
Casey
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