Thursday, June 28, 2012

these last few hours...

read this on a blog way back when...
tear.

its beautiful.


These Last Few Hours


It is important to me that I spend a part
of the new few hours here ~
alone with you in the darkness.


You and I will never be this close again
By morning you will be a tiny person ~
All your own.


No longer the kicking demanding bulge in my body
that I have grown to love so well.


I hope you will be safe on your journey tonight
I ask for strength to help you all I can.





Again you signal,
your impatience to be free ~
time to wake your Daddy.



faith & love,
casey

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

"dress rehearsal birth"

... that's how my silly aunt described it, and i couldn't have described it better, myself!

although it was a false alarm, and one which i felt in my bones, it was a nice dress rehearsal, only because i have yet to take the hospital tour.  yes, lazy would pretty much sum it up.  BUT, we got a nice tour and an "in action" experience before the BIG DAY arrives!

i've been having contractions... at least that's what i THINK.  because i have a high pain tolerance, its been very very hard to distinguish, and because i know Bella is not able to come naturally, i am absolutely terrified that she will, and i won't even know it.  i understand BH contractions are no where near actual labor contractions, but with Aislynn, my actual labor contractions weren't noticed until way later in the labor process when they were literally jumping off the charts, and i off my bed, they hurt so bad.  what i thought was just baby movement, was actual contractions, and i felt like a dummy when the nurse corrected me. ha! SO, my worst fear is putting Bella in ANY kind of stress, especially seeing how big she is already.  then, i was reading up on "back labor", and the symptoms listed seemed to describe what i was feeling... possibly, anyway.  it worried me.  worried me enough to head to the hospital late yesterday, afternoon.

a couple of weeks ago, my doctor mentioned going ahead and coming in when i felt 6 contractions in an hour.  late late Sunday evening and into the wee hours of Monday morning, they were constant for a good 4 hours.  i decided to take a warm shower, and thankfully, they went away... at least i think... when i'm asleep, i have NO idea if i'm having them or not, and end up dreaming that i am (or maybe i really am).  Monday early afternoon, they began again... this time for 3 hours straight, coming at 8-15 minutes apart. i've been swelling, lately, having severe hot flashes, lots of discharge, and ugly constant back pain, soooo i thought, "well... i'm already going against what the doctor said, so i GUESS i can put the stubbornness aside and head up there. better to be safe than sorry."

we came home, finished packing last minute items, i cleaned (of course lol), and headed out the door.  i knew in my knower i would be coming back home... its just that feeling you get, when you simply know.  but to put Jr's mind at ease, and to ask further questions about my contractions, i decided it was best.

we got there.
they signed me in, and while doing so, the contractions were still coming.
i was given a wheelchair (which i absolutely hated lol), and was wheeled up to L&D... still having contractions, btw.  NOW, please tell me whyyy they stop they second they hook up the monitors?? the consistency was gone, and it was clear i "cried wolf". ha!  embarrassing, much?  yes, very... especially when this is my 2nd kiddo. ha!   now, i won't mention they started back up after i had gotten home and got comfortable.

they hooked me up to the monitors, and the only REAL action and drama was Bella Boo's fighting skills.  she kicked the heart monitor off i don't know how many times, and my nurse actually had to bring in "back up" to re-hook it until they could get at least 20mins of monitoring, simply because she would not stay still.  it resorted to me having to press a tiny button every time i felt her move. crazy girl.


all in all... a full blown dress rehearsal.
the positive:  finding out there is indeed a hook on the door for my pretty wreath! ha! and now, i know exactly where to go come Monday.  i also know the staff on hand is very sweet!  plus, i had on zero make up, and my hair looked like it exploded out of my pony tail from being out and about that afternoon.  i also was able to see when exactly i was having a contraction... the first few i didn't notice, but of course, the last one righttttt before the nurse unhooked me, she confirmed i was a having a contraction in that very moment.  go figure.

SO, for now, i wait until my FINAL appointment, which is tomorrow, and in the mean time, time my contractions and when and only when they get to 5 minutes apart, head on in.  because i wasn't dilated much, i'm assuming the next time i see those nurses will be D-Day, and that is perfectly okay with me.  in God's timing, not my own. =]


thank you, all, for your prayers, well wishes, and support!
we're superrrrrrr excited about Monday... NEXT Monday that is! ha!


faith & love,
casey


Saturday, June 23, 2012

hospital bag

i literally searched high and low on the world wide web for a GOOD hospital bag list... I didn't find the "perfect" one, but i found various ones which i put together to create my own perfect little one.

hope this helps you preggo mommas out there!

ps. i'm kind of a heavy packer, but i always like to be prepared.  plus, i'd rather pack too much, than send my hubby or somebody out to get something.   also, keep in mind because i am having a c-section, i'll be in the hospital for 4 days straight.  i had a c-section with Aislynn, however, it was very much unplanned, and Jr was back and forth between our home and the hospital the entire time, unfortunately.  the only thing i want him leaving the hospital for is possibly some Banana Pudding from Buc-ee's. =P


Mommy's Bag:
-  insurance card
- per-registration forms ( i turned these in when i first found out i was preggo.)
- folder to place paperwork
- boppy pillow
- make up
- deodorant
- lotion
- shampoo + conditioner
- dry shampoo
- face cleanser
- facial cleanser wipes
- tooth paste/brush
- dental floss
- hair brush
- maternity clothes to leave hospital
- loofah
- body wash/soap
- sandals or crocs (for shower)
- nursing bras (2)
- nursing cream
- nursing pads
- nursing cover
- glasses or contacts
- parachute undies 
- extra sanitary pads  (size large. ha!)
- q-tips
- slippers w/tread
- baby book (to stamp the little footsies)
- camera (2)
- perfume/body spray
- robe
- comfy hospital gown/top
- hair clip/tie
- bandana (because i always wear them to keep my bangs out of my face)
- chapstick
-  sleeping mask (because y'all convinced me)



Bella's Bag:
- Infant car seat and infant head support- You will not be allowed to leave the hospital without one; make sure you bring the instructions.
- car seat cover
- Going-home outfit
- hospital stay outfits- again, i'll be staying for 4 days, and i want Little Miss to look fab, so packed some extra cute onesies. (make sure they have the bottom snaps for easy diaper/clothing changes)
- Hat- Babies lose the vast majority of their body heat through their heads.
- Booties/socks
- Receiving blankets- Newborns love to be swaddled, and these blankets are perfect for swaddling. For the summer months, i registered for these snazzy things, and oh my! they are wonderful, and i haven't even used them yet! http://www.target.com/p/aden-anais-for-target-jillaroo-swaddle-wraps-4pk/-/A-11219608#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink
- Newborn diapers- If they do not have the umbilical cord area cut out, make sure you fold them down.
- Wipes- Begin with the wipes that are designed for newborns or sensitive skin. my hospital, personally, does not carry actual wipes, but rather some type of towelettes that you are supposed to wash and use... yeah, no. WIPES and lots of them!
- Butt Paste -- this stuff is ah-mazing for diaper rash!
- Mittens - Many newborns will have longer nails, so they can easily scratch their face and other parts of their bodies.
- Pacifiers

 Daddy's Bag:
- 4 changes of clothes
- pajamas
- toiletries
- shoes/ slippers (for comfort)
- pillow
-blanket
- glasses/contacts/solution
- cash/quarters for vending machines
- phone charger
- (list of people to contact once baby makes his/her debut. as well as hospital address and room number.)


Aislynn's Bag/Sibling Bag:
-  5 changes of clothes
- toiletries
- stuffed animal
- blanket
- entertainment bag (so she doesn't drive LaLa and grandpa crazy. ha!)
^^ books, movies, puzzles, coloring books^^
- extra cash for whatever


(ignore the 20 year old stickers... too lazy to take them off. lol)


andddd, there ya have it! the Ayala's are rollin' deep, BUT i'm sure they have seen worse... at least that's what i keep telling myself. ha!



faith & love, 
casey

Friday, June 22, 2012

37 weeks.

i.am.tired.
tired of being pregnant.
and i feel like complaining... well, there's more to come of it, unfortunately.
ha!

my abdomen is super hard and achy all.day.long.
and when she moves, i wanna puke what very little i have eaten.
my back is killing me.
and contractions are getting stronger... today, i've had more than i normally have in an entire week... or so it seems. they are pretty consistent for about an hour, and then they stop... of course, right?  and then... a couple of hours later, they start up again... like now, for instance.  its teasing me, but this week would be the perfect week for her to come... my dad is in town, and next week, he won't be, unfortunately. =(  plus, her nursery is pretty much ready minus minor decorative goodies. =]

although i've read/heard most 2nd (and on) babies do NOT drop, i can tell she's further engaged into my pelvis. the pressure down below is errr uncomfortable, but when she gets to moving, i become paralyzed. sometimes, it even hurts to walk, and lots of the times, i wonder how on earth i made it to the restroom accident free.

-- speaking of... i'm in the restroom, now, about twice an hour... it would probably be more frequent, however mama is very determined to get some kind of rest before Bella Boo arrives, so i hold it until i dream of myself actually taking a tinkle...  we've all had that dream, no?  =P


now, for positive polly!

my 2nd glucose test came back... ahhhh... NORMAL! PRAISE GOD!  i was a worried mess.  it was a hard hard 3 days.  i've had an amazing pregnancy health wise, and have worked very hard to maintain a below 20lb weight gain (which, btw. i'm at 19, now. lol).  it would have killed me to have had any other test results, and then would have killed me to have to wait until they tested her.  but God is great, and i was literally in tears when i heard the good news!  now, i pray for a healthy ride out of Preggersville, and a healthy delivery!

my very last doctor's appointment is next Wednesday!  cuh-razy!  never thought i'd see the day!
then the following friday, i'm off for pre-op blood work, AND if Bella Boo hangs on long enough, she'll be here Monday July 2, no later than 2pm. <3<3<3 

EEEEK!!!! 


so aside from my "normal" preggo complaints... i can't really describe how i feel, right now.  so anxious, so thankful, so humbled, SO SO much LOVE just waiting to be shared!


37 Weeks:

How far along? 37 weeks & 5 days
Maternity clothes? proud to say i'm wearing the exact same clothes i wore 5-6 months ago. =]
Stretch marks? YES! I have 2 that have multiplied to 4 which are about 1/4 of a inch long. =(
Sleep: i nap during the day... thank you, God!
Best moment this week: a normal glucose read!
Miss Anything? yeah, my smaller waist. ha!
Movement: very much... i'm actually beginning to think she has bruised my top rib. =(
Food cravings: i just want apple juice... all day, everyday.
Anything making you queasy or sick: lots... i feel nauseated about 85% of the day.
 Have you started to show yet: that ship has sailed. i can't imagine my stomach getting any bigger. i really can't.
Gender: Princess
Labor Signs: Geez... yes! 
Belly Button in or out?  umm... unfortunately, its about half and half at this point. yuck. lol
Wedding rings on or off? very much on... and no struggle to remove it, either! happy camper, i am!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! EXCITED!!
Looking forward to: the end of this chapter. =P
Size of Baby: That is yet to be determined.... worried she won't fit into her cute newborn clothes that i worked sooo hard to pick out. we'll see!



ps. hospital bag post will be up, tomorrow! =D
pps. this will be my 2nd to last PREGGO post. 
Weeee!



faith & love, 
casey


Monday, June 18, 2012

36 weeks

as of Sunday, I am FINALLY  full term... therefore able to breathe just a tiny bit... figuratively, of course. ha! this week has been tough... the toughest yet.

i'm exhausted. literally drained. i know a lot of it has to do with this crazy Houston heat, and the major loss of appetite, but i can honestly say, all i want to do is sleep, and then sleep some more.  i feel like a big fat grizzly bear confused by the season.  i don't feel up to doing anything.  anything. 

i've been feeling lots of pressure down below, however my last doctor's appointment on Wednesday revealed that i am zero percent dilated and have not thinned.  although, anxious for her to come, that was sort of a relief, simply because we still have a few things to get things done around the house.  nothing crazy major, but we would like to be able to sit and relax and fully enjoy our time with her once she gets here without worrying about walking around boxes, or the house not being clean, or the clothes not being washed.  we still have to organize Aislynn's room, and then clear out the clutter in ours to make room for the cradle and various other odds and in's. other than the clothes being washed and done, everything else is being left to finish tomorrow, after breakfast and a movie for the hubby, which i really hope i am up for.  we're super late and all that jazz, but The Avengers is on the itinerary. =P

all of her clothes/blankets/bibs and so forth have been washed, hung up, folded, and her bag is fully packed.  Aislynn's bag is packed, and mine is packed minus the few "last minute" emergency items such as my make-up and possibly my shampoo (because i know the hospital doesn't have shampoo made specifically for bleached hair, and those little travel sized bottles last me literally 2 washes because i have so much hair).  i'm REALLY hoping to do a hospital bag post, because although i searched high and low for the "perfect" list, there were still quite a few things i thought could have been added.  i also made a "daddy list" as well. so, hoping to share that with you guys, this upcoming week.

i think partly to being so drained, i'm probably more sad than anything.  i've been pregnant for what seems like forever, and if she decides to wait, on Monday, exactly 2 weeks from then, we will see her beautiful little face.  its so surreal, and we are beyond excited, however, there is that sense of, "i will never be THIS close to her ever again", and that breaks my heart a little.  we've had such an amazing experience together, and we've bonded the most we'll ever bond.  then, i think of Aislynn, and much and how fast she has grown, and i can't wait to experience the same with Bella.  i can't wait for Aislynn to experience the "big sister" role.  and i can't wait for Jr to experience the overload of hormones. ha!

its gonna be epic.

36 Weeks:
no picture.
i am horrible, i know.



faith & love,
casey


Sunday, June 17, 2012

happy father's day!

i have to say, i have been mighty blessed with such good and Godly men in my life! every year, i am more thankful to call him "dad" and him "hubby".  believe it or not, the day i met Jr, he smelled like my dad... exactly.  Exactly enough to where i found out they were sporting the exact same cologne, D&G.  if that wasn't a sign, i dunnoooo. ha!

they both inspire me in their own way, and i can honestly say i am a better person because of them.  i love you both, dearly!  thank you, for loving me unconditionally!  father's play such a HUGE HUGE role in a child's life, and I thank God for blessing me with men of such character, honor, and LOVE!


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!


so true!


faith & love, 
casey

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

35 Weeks

today, i am 36 weeks and 2 days.
i have this odd odd feeling, she'll be here next week, if not late this week.
or maybe its just been the fact that i have been go go go my entire pregnancy, that these past few days, i've been able to chill, and am finally coming to the realization that i am indeed very very preggo.

i thank God, for giving me such fabulous energy this pregnancy... its gone smoothly and with very very minor complications, if that's what you want to call it.  however, this pregnancy has been a complete 180 of Aislynn's.  everything is quite different... good and bad in aspects, but overall, a blessed experience, and one which i can honestly say i'm sad to see go.  Bella Boo and I have bonded so much these past couple of months, i can't help but see God's beautiful miracles day in and day out... they're kinda just screaming at me saying, "hallelujah! you serve an awesome God!"  its been a beautiful journey to say the least!  thank you, daddy Jesus!

sometimes, i wish i could vlog because i have so much to say, but i'm not much of a video camera person, and with all of this heartburn + pressure on my lungs, it will take me forever to spit out one clear sentence without sounding like i'm going to die.  so here goes...
ps. it gets kinda graphic as you read further, but i'm an open book, and have def appreciated all of the other mommy bloggers and vbloggers who have been just as open about their pregnancy, so thought i would return the favor.
 
i can't really tell if she's dropped... i mean, she's already so big, i dunno if there's any more room for her to actually drop anywhere, so only time will tell.  or, perhaps my doctor will at my next appointment on wednesday, which is when i will start going every week.  i def haven't been able to breathe easier, but again, she's prob already 8 lbs IF the ultrasound was correct, and I'm still under my weight gain, so my stomach is rather hard... like real real hard.  sometimes, so hard, i just want to cry, not so much because it hurts, but it is a real annoying feeling... not sure how to describe it, but its just not fun...at all.  it aches, and then when a braxton hicks hits, it feels like it can't possibly get any harder. 

my braxton hicks are tricky.  i get them more times a day that i can count.  on sunday, they were consistent for only 40 mins, and then POOF, they were gone.  today, in the grocery store, i got my most painful one, and then from there, they've been off and on.  i usually have to brace myself when i feel one coming, because again, my stomach gets super hard, and it literally takes my breath my away, and then, i look like i've been shot. ha!

i'm beginning to feel lots of pressure down in errr that zone. ha!  but again, not sure if she's ready, dropped, or is just super big, and perhaps there's just no where else her big head can move.  tricky tricky, yet again.

my trips to the restroom are very frequent... didn't think they could get more frequent, but i find myself sitting on the royal throne half asleep once every hour. 

i've been using the potty (um. #2) quite often... at first i thought it was something i had eaten, but that would have passed already, so i find myself in the rr more often than not. 

the nausea has officially returned, and blah... i just can't eat like i did a month ago. my appetite is like, "yeahhhh right" ::whimper::

i'm superrrrrrrrrrrrrr tired.  (was that enough, "r's"??)  again... not sure if its because i have just been so darn busy, or because i really am that tired.  either way, i can't get enough sleep.

sleeping has become difficult... very difficult.  and yes, i know i won't be getting sleep later... i have been through this before. lol but there's a huge difference in losing sleep because you are woken up every 45 minutes than losing sleep because you aren't even sleeping more than 45 minutes the entire night. the soreness down there leaves me dreading bed time, so i stay up as late as my eyes will burn without really burning, and then i struggle the entire night... trying to find a position that will make the pain down below not as painful, yet somewhat bearable. plus, i have sleep apnea, and am already woken up every 30 minutes, naturally. boo.  however, THIS pillow, has really really been a life saver the past 6 months, when the pain down below actually began.  i highly recommend it!  i will note, the way the pillow is positioned in the picture (on the link) was how i originally began sleeping with it, however, my stomach is just so big these days, the larger part of the pillow is now between my legs, and the smaller part of the pillow is now supporting my belly.  otherwise, i'll experience back pain from the weight not being distributed correctly. 


last, but not least... i'm 50% sure i lost my plug on Sunday, morning.  was in the restroom superrr early, and when i went to flush, i took a quick glance at the toilet, and saw what looked like it was umm my plug, however, by the time my sleep eyes could focus, all had been flushed away.  however, the discharge i was having earlier this week, disappeared after what i think i saw happened.  in addition to what i think i saw, back cramps are more frequent and more painful. =/

all in all, hoping to get some kind of results/answers on wednesday, because in all honesty, i am feeling miserable at this point with zero answers.  its frustrating, and of course, i just want to know if something is going on.   
 
anywho, here's a mini recap of my 35th week!
i can't believe i'm already 36 weeks, yet at the same time, July 2 seems awfully far away, IF she decides to wait that long... i highly doubt it. =P


35 Weeks:
mini me started swimming, last week, and she made more progress in a 45 min session, than she did all of last summer! so proud of her!

 it wasn't sunny out, however, with the lack of sleep, you'd think i had been crying my eyes out the entire night, they were so swollen. =(

 
and here we are! 
baby shower came and went... not without drama, of course, but tis was a blessed day, anyway! Thank you, to everyone who shared this special day with us, not to mention braved this crazy-houston-we-aren't-even-in-the-summer-yet-heat!  love you! <3


ps. excuse the typos... its 3am. 


faith & love, 
casey

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

nursery {sneak peek}

if you follow me on facebook or pinterest, you'll see i have been nursery-decorating-obsessed since even before i found out Bella was/is a SHE.  some people probably don't put as much thought into it all, and think i am entirely way too crazy, but i love love love to decorate, love the feeling of accomplishing something i worked truly hard at, and the final product... nothing compares! the creativity just sky rockets and that, my friend, is my therapy. =]

i searched and searched for ideas... you know on pinterest, searching for ONE idea can turn into months and months of hours logged in. yep. that happened.  i knew for sure i didn't want pastels... they're pretty, but too cliche for me, and i wanted a theme i can run with when Bella Boo gets older, because obviously re-decorating a room is quite costly.  finally, after lots of pinning and web-surfing, it was there... right in front of me, "Bella." her names says it all... "BEAUTIFUL." so, that was where the brainstorming began... Spanish flair was the theme.

moving has somewhat hindered the process of it all coming together, simply because i need to visually see what's going where... otherwise, i'll end up with too much stuff and not enough places to put it.  that, and a hurt wallet. ha!  now, that we are finally here, its all coming to me, and i can't be more thrilled! its a work in progress, definitely, but one thing at a time... one wall at a time... one shelf at a time... Soon enough, it will be complete!


here's what has been orchestrated so far.
hope you enjoy.
<3

 a lot of the goodies in her room are thrifted, hand-me-downs, or purchased at Hobby Lobby's 40-50% off sale, or given as gifts.

--the chair and ottoman i purchased at Goodwill over a year ago... it has cute little pineapples on it... i'm reallyyy wanting to re-do it, but Jr is obsessed with the pineapples, so okay, I'll leave it alone... for now. ha  anywho, its a chair that snuggles with you! i love it, and for $35, i couldn't pass it up.

-- the vintage spanish crocheted throw was given to me by my Aunt/God Mother... it was given to her when was young. its huge and super comfy!

-- the teddy bear was Aislynn's... "Boo Boo Bear"... my mother gave this to her as a warm fuzzie to hold when she wasn't feeling well.

-- the side table is actually a plant holder... i loveddd the cast iron and detail of it, so i snagged it at Hobby Lobby for $14.99 on clearance.  its mainly to place her bottles and little odds and in's while feeding, reading, or singing her to sleep.

-- the dresser was my mother's when she was younger... my sister and my dad re-did it about 2 years ago, and i threatened asked my sister to have it, and she gave in.  so sweet of her!

-- the glass lamp on the dresser was given to me by the same aunt who gave me the throw. looking to get a lamp shade from goodwill, and cover it with red ruffle trim.

-- the cross, rug, and crown (pictured above) was purchased at Hobby Lobby... again at 50% off. (i'm obsessed with that store... i guess.)

-- the stuffed little birdies are for Bella's mobile that i will be making... the entire thing cost me less than $12. =]

-- the tall vintage lamp shade (pictured above) was FREE at a garage sale.  i plan on hanging it from the corner ceiling over the chair.

-- the mirror on the wall was given to me by my mother... its gold right now... debating on painting it canary yellow to match the sheer curtains i have yet to buy... looking to add red pom poms as a trim to that as well.

-- {what you can't see just yet}
*  her toy box... its solid wood and cherry brown... it was mine when i was a wee one, and its perfect to house all of her toys and little goodies.

* vintage throws...  i have a pretty hefty amount that has been given and/or thrifted/collected as props.  so, we are purchasing zero blankets... except special breathable receiving blankets to accommodate these crazy Houston summer months. 



thank you, to those who have contributed to Bella's room!  it gives me warm fuzzies to know you are thinking of her.  and to those who gave prior to Preggersville Round 2, thank you for sharing and shedding light on my little inspiration. <3

will be sharing more, soon!


faith & love,
casey

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