T-Minus One Week and Couting

Really? A week already? Because I remember just 11 weeks ago, I was a mess.

My sister whom I talked to every.single.day went and decided to join and leave the Marines. How could she?  Didn't she understand the hurt it caused us all?  Didn't she understand that things just wouldn't be the same without her?  The answer is, no.  She didn't understand a lot when she first left, but today, today, she is a different girl. A different sister, a different daughter, and a different kind of civilian.  

Today, my sister is enduring a 3 day 48 mile hike, which is called the Crucible, for those that do not know.  Basically, its the last hoo-rah of hoo-rah's in basic training. And all recruits must pass this final test in order to hold the title of a US Marine.  Asking everyone to please keep Chelsey in your thoughts and prayers as today was/is her first day of the 3 day test.  I only wish I could be there with her to see the look on her face when she completes it.  Everything they have learned, and engraved into their minds and spirits will be tested in and around this course, and all they have been through before will come down to this specific point in time.  

You think back to when she first arrived...

Can you imagine arriving on Parris Island (its really an island, btw. surrounded by swamp) in the early hours of the morning?  You're tired from the night before due to lack of rest, due to the nervous and anxious hours that await you.  You say goodbye to your loved ones, and you're suddenly already on the plane headed to South Carolina. You board your final bus full of complete strangers. Your heart is pounding and the adrenaline is rushing.  Just then, a US Marine Drill Sergeant steps on board... the next thing you know, you're on the two yellow feet that will mark your beginning of this long and excruciating journey.  Just when you think you're already in hell, the eerie sound of the bus driving away sends a panic into every fiber of your being. 

And in that very second, the process begins. 

You're beginning to know and truly feel what fear really is.
And in that very second, you begin to adapt and overcome.

You begin to reach deep inside your soul, and you hunger for the Lord as you never have before.

You cry out to Him, and beg Him to carry you through the next 13 weeks. 

You begin to mold into what you're soon to become...

The Few. The Proud. The Marines.

I will see you soon, sissy!

I love you and at this point, words can't even begin to express how very very proud I am of you!

OORAH!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Faith and Love,
Casey

A little bit of everything...

So, what's been going on in my life besides upcoming foot surgery?  Well, I'll be happy to tell ya!  

Sooooooo, less 2 weeks from now, my family and I will flying (an adventure in itself) to South Carolina to FINALLY reunite with my sister!!! My goodness!! Even now, I'm making typos in the excitement of seeing her!! Its finally, here, and she is almostttttttt there! She's in the home stretch, my sissy, yes yes, she is!! She's doing soooo well in her training, and has surpassed all of her tests with flying colors!  Only thing is... girlfriend is eating better than I am! Say what?? Mhmmm!  Pancakes... mmk, so that's all I remember her saying, but there was a full buffet list of all that she eats, and that's only for breakfast!! lol  And here I am... tortured by the still-in-the-freezer pancakes that stare at me every time I open the door!  Its all good though, because 4lbs gone last week! That's 1 pound shy of my 5lbs goal. And had I possibly worked out Friday-Sunday, I'd probably be boasting about that 5lb loss.  Motivation!! Its getting me there! And this week, I hope to say I lost 5lbs.  If not, I'd be happy to have lost anything!

Speaking of loss... man oh man.  Finances.... Hmm... where to start.  Well.... I think we are finally getting there.  You know, to the monthly excel spreadsheet, the clipping of coupons, and the saving of each and every single receipt?  Yes! To that!  We're well on our way!  And you know, I couldn't be happier!  Before, and I won't lie, bills thrown wherever, receipts thrown away immediately, coupons forgotten about, and bills left to pay themselves.  Its gotten to the point where I/he/we/He are tired of living this lifestyle.  Tired of the immaturity and the irresponsibility.  How old are we?? Exactly.  So, that's something new going on... Something very very new.  Good and faithful servants, that's what we're aiming for!  Show us the way, oh Lord!  We're ready! (but, please help me brush up on the math skills; not to mention the patience with the math skills. Last time I took over the bills, into the negative we dove, and we dove often. Eek!)

Also, now that summer is officially here, I have coordinated a sweet little daily calendar noting what activities will be done at what times of the day! Hopefully, this will help keep my sanity in check and my Proverbs 31 goal a reachable one. We'll see, as this starts on Monday.

Hmm... what else?  Well, lots, but I won't sit here and bore you.  Just wanted to fill in on what's major has been going on lately.  Next month, I'll try and blog our fun adventures with our new Marine!! Can't wait!!!  Now, that us sisters are back in action, anything is bound to happen! Beware world, we're comin' at'cha! Full throttle this time!! (no, seriously... beware! we're trouble to the 100th power.)

Hope everyone is having a great week!

 Talk soon!

Some fun little photos little mama and I took this past week.  

(ps. got me some new specs!)

Faith and Love,
Casey

Perfect no more.

By this, I am speaking of my feet. Yes, my feet.

Yesterday, I went to the "foot doctor" for one very specific reason, and I came out with many very specific reasons on why I need surgery on not one but both feet!  All my life I have boasted to my sisters on just how beautiful my feet were, but apparently yes, beauty is only skin deep.

So the surgery, you're asking... what's it for? What's the purpose of slicing my precious feet open? Well apparently, the same bones in both feet are stretching farther apart than they are supposed to, like wayyy farther, and they're going to have to go in with the knife and whatever else to move those bones back to where they are naturally supposed to be. Not to mention they're going to put rods in place to help reform what needs to be reformed. This alone freaks me out. lol

I'll be having surgery more than likely next month on the 22nd. Not sure though, because I have a busy work month in August, and well, I need my feet to shoot.  But we'll see.  The real bummer is me not going to be able to work out.  Recovery time is 8-10 weeks, and maybeeeeee 6 weeks for the elliptical.  Its a real bummer, because finally, finally, I am at a point where I enjoy working out, and I've kept it up longer than a few days. lol  And now, my elliptical is really going to be used as a clothes hanger!

So yeah... just thought I'd share the horror of what my feet are about to endure.  Not to mention, I'll have to wear those hideous hospital boots. Major ew.

Faith and Love,
Casey

Strange Feeling?

Or lack there of.  Not sure, exactly what is taking place, but I almost want to say I now have will-power.  Yeah, will power.  Sounds strange to me, too!  Will power to say no to that delicious newly advertised Banana Pudding milkshake.  And anyone that knows, knows this Southern gal digsssss her banana pudding! Oh sweet heaven.  Yep.  That's exactly what it is. Sweet sweet heaven.   However, lately, heaven has been me saying, "No." to that sweet banana shake.  It has been me saying, "I can do better."  It has been me saying, "This will not overpower me."  

And it has been me on that elliptical like there is no tomorrow.  In just two days, I burned 50 calories shy of 1,000.  Really?  Because I distinctly remember just 2 weeks ago, that 12 minute mark was border line flat line.  But today, that 12 minute mark is the home stretch to my warm up.  

Again, I will say I don't like odd numbers.  And if I'm at an odd number when my initial 20 minutes are up, then I will keep going.  And if at that point, the song currently playing on my ipod isn't over, I will again keep going.  And if then, the calories aren't at an even number, I will again, keep going.  And I will keep going until I feel like my legs are going to fall off.  (I'm on level 2, now btw. creeping up the ladder there if you will)  And when I hit 500+ calories in 45 minutes, I felt, yes, you guessed it, just like Tony the Tiger! Grrrrrrrrrrrreat!!  

And today, I feel great!  I feel great that I am making better food choices, and better life choices.  I feel great that I have the ultimate Trainer cheering me on and motivating me! He whispers in my ear, "10 more minutes"  or "50 more calories"  And then I hear my sister... "the flesh is weak, but with Him, the spirit is strong."  And then I think of her 9 mile hike + gear.  And you're telling me, I can't go for an extra 10 minutes?? ::hmph:: I'll show you Mr. Satan!  ha! okay! No really! I know, he will put whatever he can in my head to make me stop and step off, and believe me he tries veryyyy hard.

To simply put it, I'm proud!  I've only got 3 more weeks, and this time, there is absolutely NO looking back!  After all, I'm gonna have a Marine to answer to!  But really, and I know I say this a lot, but I'm tired of saying it, and not following through. I'm tired of beating myself up because I had ONE slip up.  I'm tired of giving up when I just started.  I'm at the point in my life where I must focus; focus on what's going to get me ahead in life, and what's going to get me to where He needs me to be.  I've never had this same motivation.  Never.  Its always been about the vanity.  Up until the last 2 weeks.  I have finally set my heart where it needs to be, and the rest is up to God, and with that being said, I know for a fact that I am in good hands, and that complete failure is not an option.

A little glimpse at my weekend.  Aislynn and I were overdue on a mini-me session.  Its been what? Since February.  So I figured since she got some very "Aislynn-esqe" clothes, why not snap a few of her sporting them?  

This is def my fave!

Hope everyone had a beautiful weekend!

Also, if you follow along, and I haven't discovered you yet, please feel free to leave a comment with a link to your own blog! I'd love to follow you!

Faith and Love, 

Casey

A New Revelation

God has answered my prayers... I mean, He always does, but sometimes, not always in the way, I expect, of course.  You know, He's kinda sneaky about the way He does things, and sometimes, we just have to hold on for the ride, because although our prayers aren't answered in the way we want, Jesus will never deny a prayer, and a prayer will never go unanswered. I dig the sneakiness, though.

My husband works a long hard day and a long and hard week, leaving Sunday's our to-do days, our run around day's, and anything but our relaxing days.  Typically, with his work schedule, I see him approximately 3 hours out of each day, minus the little "end of the day routine" business we all do before we crash when night falls.  Typically, we eat dinner when the sun has already fully set, and the stars are already being wished upon. And typically, we finally close our eyes when the clock strikes mid-night (at least, I do, anyway), and then, we do it all over again 6 days out of the week. 

We haven't had the energy or the time for our us and for our family.  And I hate to make this comparison, because I do not know exactly what it is like, but since January, I have felt like a single mother; the cooking, the cleaning, and the father and mother duties were left to me.  However, bringing home most of the bacon was left to my husband.  And well, that's about all he actually had time for.  

It was getting to the point, where church was being missed, prayer before bed was forgotten, and our Couples Bible was collecting dust.  God was being pushed further and further outside of this home and outside of our marriage.  

March came, and we moved into our first house.  At this point, I thought, "Yes! Yes! More time together, more time to do those things we weren't able to do prior to now."  But, I was wrong.  An entire house was left to me to care for and to clean (not to mention, unpack and rearrange), and my business was busy.  So now, not only was Jr exhausted, but I was, too.  

Soon, after our first couple of weeks of living here, problem after problem began to arise and not just with the house, but regarding other circumstances. Not to mention, my sister was gone, and someone who was normally a phone call away was now a 3-4 days mail letter delivery away.  And I didn't know how to handle it all, because the relationship I had with my Creator was diluted by the busy day and by the lack of time, so if anything, instead of drawing closer to Him during this time, I pushed Him away.

I tried reorganizing my day, but only found myself even more exhausted not only physically, but mentally.  I couldn't grasp a hold of everything, at least not in a "saving grace" kinda way.  I was a wreck and chaos was a'brewin'. 

Then, whenever I could find down time, I'd sit and think about all of our life goals, and how in the world where we ever going to achieve them with this constant lifestyle. How? I look at my husband, and I see exhaustion; baggy eyes, and a lack of swag. (yes, swag) I knew we needed a change; a change of some sort.  

In March, I began to pray for this specific purpose; for some type of breakthrough.  Pray to be able to see my husband more.  Pray that our marriage grow stronger, and then ultimately, our family.  Pray that we are more involved in our church.  It was a link of prayers; each prayer tied to the other.  Sometimes, I would sit in tears wondering when our world would change, and in the mean time, what I could do to change it.

We went to church this past Sunday, and it was a mini yet MINI breakthrough for me.  The Great I Am.  The shepherd to this lost dumb sheep (that would be me).  Here, I was off grazing on some grass in the farthest part of the pasture, while my Shepherd was calling me from a distance, but I was too busy grazing to look up and see Him, standing there with open arms, and a path that needed to be followed.  I was on my own path... again, just grazing away.  The Great I Am... The Great Strength, the Great Organization.  The Great Wisdom.  The Great Patience.  The Great Shepherd.

Jr called me Tuesday afternoon right before leaving work.  His manager told him they were cutting back on overtime.  So now, in addition to having Saturday's off, he gets off 2 hours earlier each day.  Wow.  Tears filled my eyes... you mean, I actually get to see and spend time with my husband more than 3 hours a day??  You mean, we can actually spend time relaxing?  And then, those ideas and thoughts broadened into our future.  Yeah, money is going to be tight (I have also taken much time off to focus on what I need to be focusing on right now), but the last time it was, the Ayala's had themselves a revelation that catapulted itself into our faith and into the family we are, today. I'm overjoyed just thinking about where He is taking us, next.  Just thinking about where we will be 3 months from now; or heck, even a month from now.  I'm ready. We're ready! 

Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers day in and day out.  Thank You for never giving up on us, and thank You for never letting go.  You are our light and our salvation, and wherever You will lead, we will follow!

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever. 

Psalm 23

Psalm 23 also happened to be my sweet grandmother's favorite verse.  She recited it always and always referenced back to it.  Its highlighted in her Bible (which I now, have), and it was read during her funeral service.  Before this Sunday, this verse never meant much to me, as I never fully read into it.  But this week has been a beautiful week, because I have etched in my brain "The Lord is my Shepherd." I now, see why this verse meant so very much to her...

If you'd like to listen to the same sermon that marked a smile on my heart, check it out here @ cof.tv

Faith and Love,
Casey

My OORAH of an Inspiration

This weekend was rough, and I won't go into details, but it was a very emotionally and physically draining weekend.  

Last week, Jr set up my brand new elliptical; something I hate with a passion, but know its going to do me some good, and no, I don't mean good as a clothes hanger, either.  I really really loathe this machine.  I mean even when I was thin and fit, this thing would kick my butt after a mere 5 minutes on it.  Not kidding... one time, it literally read that I needed to STEP OFF THE MACHINE.  Again, I kid you not. I didn't know machines could do that. 

So we head to the store to initially pick out a treadmill.  You know, something I can do while catching up on my Sex & the City episodes.  Well... the more I thought about it, and the more I thought about the impact on my bad knee, and then the time I'd have to be on that thing in comparison to the time I'd be on the elliptical, it was really a no brainer.  I didn't like my decision, but I knew it was the best decision.

So back to Jr setting it up... Now, he's no Bob Villa, and I wanted to make sure I wouldn't come crashing down because a screw was loose, so I hopped on the thing to give it its first go-round.  6-7 minutes later, I was still on it, and oh how exciting, I wasn't near death. And OH, how even more exciting when I saw that I burned 50+ calories!  Say what????? I didn't think this machine had so much power.  Me gusta! 

So the next day I did my first 20 minute work out... I was inching closer to death around the 12 minute mark, but my jam packed awesomely awesome ipod and its awesomely awesome choice of playlist music helped ease the pain.  And then... poof, I was done!  Just like that, and OH how exciting, I was ALIVE! And I felt alive!  Not sure if it was the endorphins from the actual workout, or the fact that I wasn't dead.  Either way, I had a Tony the Tiger moment; I felt grrrrrrreat!!!  

So the next day came, and I did the same, but this time burning less calories. A bit of a bummer for this perfectionist.  Then I got on it again, and burned even more calories. And then again, and even more calories.  205.2 in 33 minutes, and yes, I'm still on level uno. My best yet! GO ME!  I could have stopped at my 20 minutes, but I saw the 200 mark in sight, and I went for it!  Plus, I don't like odd numbers... they bug me; they really do.

Then... and then.... this weekend. It was one thing after another.  One blow after another.  This was the only holiday weekend my husband has off during the entire year, and that's how it went down.  Not exactly my idea of time spent together, but hey, I was thankful for other events that did occur.  Not going to lie though, I was super glad the weekend was over... I needed a fresh start and a fresh new outlook.  Besides, I felt like a blimp after not working out since Saturday morning right before our AC blew.

Then Tuesday came, and then Wednesday came.  I passed up the elliptical without any acknowledgement.  Like it wasn't even there... sitting directly in the middle of my living room.  Yeah, who'd notice it, right??  I guess you could say I hadn't forgotten about it, but rather, I chose to ignore it.  I didn't have the energy, the mind set, or the motivation.  I had even forgotten to eat... and me? Forget to eat??  Does it look like I ever forget to eat?  No. 

Today, I got up early, and not by choice, but for the 5th night in a row, I couldn't sleep, and me trying to force myself to sleep only lead to day-long headaches.  I must admit though, the day went by rather quickly, but still I had not hopped on that dang piece of machinery.  

And then.... and then... I get a letter from my sister; my new inspiration.  My goodness, I miss her so much.  And my goodness, I cannot express enough how much I am proud of her; proud of who she is becoming, and who she is going to be.  Just with her in basic training these past weeks, she's become so wise, and she has dove into God's word, and its not for show... its for her; for her to make it through another second, another minute, another hour, another day, and another week, another month.  She's speaks of nothing but positivity and hope, and of the strength God is giving her.  The strength she wouldn't have had, had she not fully trusted in Him to carry her through this training.  I can't even begin to imagine the mental transformation that all the recruits are forced to make, but she's doing it with ease.  And when life gets me down, I think of my sister, my beautiful sweet Chelsey... I think of her struggles and her triumphs, and I think, if she's going through all of that, I can at least try, and just as she makes me proud, I want to make her proud.

So, today, I hopped on that elliptical, and did my best yet.  206.2 calories in 27 minutes (and yes, still on level uno hehe).  And I promise this isn't an imposter typing up this blog... its me, so that tells you I survived! YES!

Goodness... just as she asks that we write her every.single.day, I wish she could do the same for me... I need that constant motivation just as she does.  I can't wait to see her in 5 weeks. FIVE weeks!! I can't believe it!! Seems like just yesterday we were waving her off, but then I think of all those times I just wanted to pick up the phone and say hello... to hear her voice of annoyance whenever I call too much.  Yeah, I miss that, too.  I miss everything about her.  Her rolling of the eyes, her big butt, and her fashion faux paux.  I miss it all, and it makes time seem like an eternity. But soon, I will re-live these moments, and I am just completely over-joyed!! Ecstatic beyond belief!

I miss you, sissy, and I love you dearly.

Supporting our gal, Chelsey! 

(please excuse my hot mess of a hair... 

We had no AC this past weekend, and well, the humidity is always out to take revenge on my lady lovely locks.)

Faith and Love,

Casey

In another lifetime...

When I grow up... in another lifetime...

I'd play the guitar, the piano, and sing from my soul.

With my eyes closed, the music would flow, flow freely into the winds of heaven.

I'd jump out of a plane 10,000 feet off the ground.

I'd write a love song, and tell him what could have been, but glad it wouldn't have been.

I'd sleep like a baby until my mind wakes up to reality.

I'd hum a sweet lullaby each night while tucking in my sweet angel.

I'd be a lawyer, where my word is good and firm.

I'd be an artist of hair, that could transform.

I'd be the girl with the long and wispy hair.

I'd be the girl, the girl that wasn't afraid to dare.

Okay okay... no, but really...

In another lifetime, that would be me and then some.  Sometimes, I think its fun to dream of what we'd be if we weren't who we are today, and who'd we'd be tomorrow.  Not saying I covet this so called dream, but I love where my imagination takes me, and who knows, maybe one day my music will flow into the winds of heaven.  For now, I love who I am, and am excited about who I'm going to be!

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 

-- Samuel 16:7

Faith and love,
Casey