A New Revelation

God has answered my prayers... I mean, He always does, but sometimes, not always in the way, I expect, of course.  You know, He's kinda sneaky about the way He does things, and sometimes, we just have to hold on for the ride, because although our prayers aren't answered in the way we want, Jesus will never deny a prayer, and a prayer will never go unanswered. I dig the sneakiness, though.

My husband works a long hard day and a long and hard week, leaving Sunday's our to-do days, our run around day's, and anything but our relaxing days.  Typically, with his work schedule, I see him approximately 3 hours out of each day, minus the little "end of the day routine" business we all do before we crash when night falls.  Typically, we eat dinner when the sun has already fully set, and the stars are already being wished upon. And typically, we finally close our eyes when the clock strikes mid-night (at least, I do, anyway), and then, we do it all over again 6 days out of the week. 

We haven't had the energy or the time for our us and for our family.  And I hate to make this comparison, because I do not know exactly what it is like, but since January, I have felt like a single mother; the cooking, the cleaning, and the father and mother duties were left to me.  However, bringing home most of the bacon was left to my husband.  And well, that's about all he actually had time for.  

It was getting to the point, where church was being missed, prayer before bed was forgotten, and our Couples Bible was collecting dust.  God was being pushed further and further outside of this home and outside of our marriage.  

March came, and we moved into our first house.  At this point, I thought, "Yes! Yes! More time together, more time to do those things we weren't able to do prior to now."  But, I was wrong.  An entire house was left to me to care for and to clean (not to mention, unpack and rearrange), and my business was busy.  So now, not only was Jr exhausted, but I was, too.  

Soon, after our first couple of weeks of living here, problem after problem began to arise and not just with the house, but regarding other circumstances. Not to mention, my sister was gone, and someone who was normally a phone call away was now a 3-4 days mail letter delivery away.  And I didn't know how to handle it all, because the relationship I had with my Creator was diluted by the busy day and by the lack of time, so if anything, instead of drawing closer to Him during this time, I pushed Him away.

I tried reorganizing my day, but only found myself even more exhausted not only physically, but mentally.  I couldn't grasp a hold of everything, at least not in a "saving grace" kinda way.  I was a wreck and chaos was a'brewin'. 

Then, whenever I could find down time, I'd sit and think about all of our life goals, and how in the world where we ever going to achieve them with this constant lifestyle. How? I look at my husband, and I see exhaustion; baggy eyes, and a lack of swag. (yes, swag) I knew we needed a change; a change of some sort.  

In March, I began to pray for this specific purpose; for some type of breakthrough.  Pray to be able to see my husband more.  Pray that our marriage grow stronger, and then ultimately, our family.  Pray that we are more involved in our church.  It was a link of prayers; each prayer tied to the other.  Sometimes, I would sit in tears wondering when our world would change, and in the mean time, what I could do to change it.

We went to church this past Sunday, and it was a mini yet MINI breakthrough for me.  The Great I Am.  The shepherd to this lost dumb sheep (that would be me).  Here, I was off grazing on some grass in the farthest part of the pasture, while my Shepherd was calling me from a distance, but I was too busy grazing to look up and see Him, standing there with open arms, and a path that needed to be followed.  I was on my own path... again, just grazing away.  The Great I Am... The Great Strength, the Great Organization.  The Great Wisdom.  The Great Patience.  The Great Shepherd.

Jr called me Tuesday afternoon right before leaving work.  His manager told him they were cutting back on overtime.  So now, in addition to having Saturday's off, he gets off 2 hours earlier each day.  Wow.  Tears filled my eyes... you mean, I actually get to see and spend time with my husband more than 3 hours a day??  You mean, we can actually spend time relaxing?  And then, those ideas and thoughts broadened into our future.  Yeah, money is going to be tight (I have also taken much time off to focus on what I need to be focusing on right now), but the last time it was, the Ayala's had themselves a revelation that catapulted itself into our faith and into the family we are, today. I'm overjoyed just thinking about where He is taking us, next.  Just thinking about where we will be 3 months from now; or heck, even a month from now.  I'm ready. We're ready! 

Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayers day in and day out.  Thank You for never giving up on us, and thank You for never letting go.  You are our light and our salvation, and wherever You will lead, we will follow!

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever. 

Psalm 23

Psalm 23 also happened to be my sweet grandmother's favorite verse.  She recited it always and always referenced back to it.  Its highlighted in her Bible (which I now, have), and it was read during her funeral service.  Before this Sunday, this verse never meant much to me, as I never fully read into it.  But this week has been a beautiful week, because I have etched in my brain "The Lord is my Shepherd." I now, see why this verse meant so very much to her...

If you'd like to listen to the same sermon that marked a smile on my heart, check it out here @ cof.tv

Faith and Love,
Casey