This Little Blue Bird

You see, this home is our first actual house.  This is the first time, we've had to be THIS type of responsible, and it scared me, scared me so much, that it was constantly on my mind... the wondering of how we're going to screw up this blessing, just like we have with many others.

When we first moved into our home back in March, every morning I would try and get on a routine with getting up, and then finally making way into the kitchen for breakfast time.  I usually ate after Aislynn did, and while sitting or cleaning up the kitchen, I would randomly look out the kitchen window, and more often than not, I would see a blue bird fly by.  This happened various times throughout the first couple of weeks.  I noticed it more and more, until finally I began to notice it when I was out at random places, or when I working in my office and was in deep thought.  And soon, a pattern developed... I only noticed it when doubt crossed my mind, never at any other time. 


I began to question why I kept seeing this blue bird, and Matthew 6:26 popped into my head:

We are now in September, and its of course been a while since I have seen a blue bird, but late last night, as I was in bed, thoughts circling in my head... doubt, fear, worthlessness, worry, and so on.  I cried and and I cried.  How did things get so bad?  Why can't we just ever move on, and not look back?  Why had God allowed all of this to go wrong?  Was my efforts not enough?  And then out of no-where, I began quietly humming... I find this relaxes me when I'm super stressed (music is my muse).  All I kept humming was "little blue bird, fly... fly high in the sky."  Now, I'm no song writer, trust me, but I like to think I live my life in and through lyrics, and I knew this routine... God has used music many many times to get through to me, and this time was no different.  

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get these words out of my head, and in that instant, I knew God was talking to me...  When I finally realized this, I soon, fell asleep.  I haven't had a good night's sleep in 6 days, and last night, I slept, and slept comfortably. 

I know God is readying me for something big; something HUGE, because I have been battling these exact same battles for too long... I know something great is about to happen, I just need to hold on, continue to focus on Him and His Word, and TRUST that He is always in control.  I need to have FAITH, and I need to cling to it... the rest is in God's hands.

Faith, Love, & song,

Casey