HALLELUJAH!!!
My fat, bloated butt has made its way to the DOUBLE DIGITS, and unfortunately, there is no "party in my tummy". I still haven't been able to eat what my taste buds desire, and quite frankly, its putting me an ugly mood.
This bloated belly. Um. Ew. Its gross. One of my BFF's is a few weeks ahead of me in Preggersville, and she's already feeling her bundle of joy move around. Me on the other hand? Yeah... all I feel is gas, and more gas... oh, and more gas. Like, I need to open up my own station equipped with "Regular" and "Premium", and I almost want to add, "Diesel", because on some days, yeah, its that bad. I said it when I was a tiny Princess, and I'll say it now as Princess of Whales, ladies don't fart. Now, I know there is more room on the outside than on the in, but geez, there must have been some alternative as to where gas is released... Lord, its not lady like. For men, yeah... its natural. But for women? C'mon, now. Couldn't you have made some other outlet source? Maybe? Perhaps? eh?
Last night, in my attempt to "detox" my body, I whipped up so yummy eggs with chives and toasted some Kashi whole wheat blueberry waffles. Yeah. Total fail. I nearly puked after a tiny bite of eggs. And the waffles?? They didn't help push everything down, but rather, everything went round and round... and round and round. So round and round, I tossed and turned the entire night in whole wheat regret.
Anywho... So last pregnancy... Okay, wait that sounds like I've been pregnant enough time to count on all five fingers. Scratch that. When I was preggo with Aislynn, I bought a nice little journal that I wrote in every.single.day. I even went as far as to doodle and add quotation bubbles to the poorly drawn stick figures aka illustrations. This go-round, that book is sadly collecting dust. And seeing that dust collect after an entire month (today, to be exact), makes me wonder what kind of mother I'm going to be to this child? Geez, I can't even fill out a couple of lines, each day. What in the world makes me think I'm going to be able to run after one, while tending to the other? The thought scares the heck out of me, to be quite honest. How do moms with multiple little ones do it AND keep their sanity?? Lord, knows I couldn't handle all of that, and I think that was a major part of us waiting 5 years to get preggo again.
But now... now, I've forgotten it all. I've forgotten how to be a mother to an infant. Aislynn is my little teenager, and to think I used to put diapers on her just completely blows my mind. I'm sure once Cupcake arrives, I'll get slapped back into reality, but I'd much rather be softly placed with an automatic remembrance brain nudge. That can happen... right??
So, my next appointment is on the 29th, and I can't wait to hear that sweet gallop of pitter-patter. It warms my heart so, and it reminds that although I'm a whale in pain, this whale has a tender heart full of love ready to share!
Faith, Love, and Gas,
Casey
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