Change is good.

In my teen years, I never went out much.  I never went to house parties or to clubs.  Heck, I never even had my first alcoholic drink until I turned the big 2-1.  (didn't miss out much on that. I'd honestly rather have a Dr. Pepper)  I didn't go out much on dates or have friends over and vice versa.  I was more of a home-body.  I enjoyed my alone time, in my room, writing or listening to music.  Occasionally, I'd do some Tae-Bo here and there, and from time to time I'd watch a little tv.  And I, of course, worked a full time job.

As I grew older and ever so gracefully said hello to my twenties, things began to change.  I began to long for the night life, and for a drink every now and then.  I began to feel as if I was missing out on all the fun.  And then, I got pregnant at the tender age of 20, and an unexpected pregnancy it was.  I mean, okay okay... there are consequences to our actions, but sometimes you just don't ever think they apply to you in the exact moment and/or situation. (true story)  This is typically the age where its all about partying and just having fun.  Instead, here I was getting 2 hours of sleep a night with a newborn.  Not exactly my idea of fun or partying at the time.

As months, and even years went on, I began to feel as if I missed out on some very important years of my life; some years that I will never get back.   It was like I went to sleep, and woke up 5 years later, and started a new life.  When really, that's kinda how it happened.  I woke up one day, and I was pregnant.  It was no longer about me, myself, and I.  But I had another being to worry about.  All of which was very and extremely overwhelming.  Not to mention, I felt disappointment from friends and family, and even more so in myself.  I wasn't sure where I was going with my life, but I was obviously in a rush to get there.  Just like I was in a rush to go back; to go back and experience all that I had "missed out" on.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.  ~Anatole France

 

Today, things are different.  I'd say about a year ago, that longing for going out dissipated, along with the desire for a mixed Jolly Rancher.  All I want to do these days, is sit quietly in my room or in my office and become inspired; inspired by myself, my family, and my faith.  I want to go on a family vacation; one that doesn't require a 24/7 agenda, but one where there is nothing to do but relax.  I simply don't care about the "night life", anymore.  I care about growing my family, growing my business, and more importantly, growing my faith.

and yeah, its the small things I miss, these days... Like THIS for one:

Call me old.  Yeah, sometimes I'm in bed before 10, and yeah sometimes I don't like staying out late.  But I also shake my butt in the kitchen, sing at the top of my lungs in the car, and long for a Ford Mustang.

Um, I'm cool no matter what. =D

I am me, and this is me, today. 

A mom.
A wife.
An entrepreneur.


This is my life.

And yeah, I'm still in a rush, but this time not to go backward, but forward.  Into the future.  I want to see where else priorities change, and I want to see where else importance shifts its weight.  I want to see where the yellow brick road leads...

Faith, Love, and Jolly Ranchers,
Casey

Who me??

Jonathan Acuff said it well,  "The talent we have the hardest time recognizing is our own."

This post is going to be hard to write without coming off like I have a stick up my nice round tush, but I'll try.

art·ist

 [ahr-tist]

noun
 

1. a person who produces works in any of the arts  that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria.

2. a person who practices one of the fine arts,  especially a painter or sculptor.

3. a person whose trade or profession requires a knowledge of design, drawing, painting, etc.: a commercial artist.

4. a person who works in one of the performing arts,  as an actor, musician, or singer; a public performer: a mime artist; an artist of the dance.

5. a person whose work exhibits exceptional skill.

Um, so THIS is hard to wrap my head around, so I'll just leave it at "creative being", which is how I like to describe myself. 

 

cre·a·tive

 [kree-ey-tiv]

adjective

1. having the quality or power of creating.

2. resulting from originality of thought, expression, etc.; imaginative: creative writing.

3. originative; productive (usually followed by of ).

4. Facetious . using or creating  exaggerated or skewed data, information, etc.: creative bookkeeping.

ahh yes, that feels much better.  

Growing up you always match the word, "Artist" with folks like Michelangelo, Van Gogh, or Monet.  All of which are highly credible and masters of their own work.  However, they all come from the same artistic background... They were born this way.  (you're humming Lady Gaga now, aren't you?) God implanted the gift of art IN them, and I'm sure once they first started out, they too had doubts about calling themselves "artists".  And I wonder if they ever felt like they mastered their craft.  

We are our own worst critics.  Once we reach the point of satisfaction, its drifts away faster than we can grab it and hold on to it.  Its gone before we've even realized satisfaction was sitting at our door step.  Why?  Because we're always after something greater; achieving what was once a dream, and testing our boundaries. 

While in the midst of doing all of the said above, we are confronted with the term "artist" by either peers or complete strangers.  Time stands still, and our minds go blank.  "Who me??  ha.  Nahhhhh.  I just love what I do."   But what DO YOU DO?  You create.  You artistically conform and conjure up some pretty wicked goodness, whether you're proud of it or not, you created it; its yours; you birthed it.  Which ultimately makes YOU an ARTIST.  And you know what?  Not everybody has to like YOUR form of ART, but it is what is is... ART.

Before I began my photographic journey, to be very very honest, I never saw myself sitting in an actual office setting.  As fun as that is for some (and I'm not being sarcastic), its not me.  I always knew I was made for more, and as horrible as they may sound, I promise no job is beneath me, because I will praise Him anyway, however, I somehow knew that being in an office wasn't my calling. (and it still may be in the future, but not in this very moment).  As soon as my feet heal, I'll be looking to get a part-time... hoping at a preschool somewhere.  I want to be around kids more, and feel that in this way, I'll be able to give back, which has been heavy on my heart lately; there's just so many benefits to this!


Now, please don't get me wrong here, because there are in fact creative office settings, and there are in fact ways you can be creative, and give back creatively within your job, but for me, personally, I feel God is using me in a different manner.  Although we are all made in His image, our journey is not all the same.  The rewarding destination, however?  Yes.  {ps.  creativity is in the eye of the beholder}

Once I began my photographic journey, I began to realize that yeah, I loveeee all that artsy fartsy stuff! Its so ME.  I love design, imagination, and the spirit of which it all derives.   Its fascinating and it gives me the warm fuzzies.  And then I began to notice it wasn't just on the outside that I enjoyed all of this stuff, but, it was on the inside, too.  I enjoy whacky colors, and for as long as I can remember I always always enjoyed interior decorating.  I used to decorate and re-arrange my bedroom just about every 6 months or so when I was in middle school, and even before then, I knew what symmetry was, and that I was addicted.  I knew what balance was, and how it was a must with umm...just about everything, one way or another.  I knew that I loved to take pictures, and people actually thought they were good... good enough for me to actually somewhat kinda sorta believe what they thought.  ha.  I've always loved HAIR, and styling it, and never getting my hair cut the same, because I don't like "same"; I like different.  I like different results, and I thrive on results and finished product!  I knew that although my own fashion didn't convey my love for fashion, either way, I knew it made me happy on the inside and got me excited about piecing odd with even more odd.  I knew that "typical" wasn't apart of my vocabulary, and I also knew that being bored was just plain boring.  I knew that my perfectionism didn't just apply to my color coordinated closet, but to how I arranged even my drawer of silverware.  I knew I lived my life through lyrics.  I knew that my curtains had to hang a certain way and be a certain distance from each other.  Some may call this OCD, but I call this visual satisfaction!  My atmosphere was my creative outlet.... always. 

....I can go on, but my point is, I was created by my Creator to be a creative being. Its been in my blood for as long as I can remember, but...

It has finally hit me. 

I may not be as good as some may think, but to me, I AM GOOD.  I am never fully satisfied, but GOOD, I am.  And I'm not afraid to announce that!  {yes, toot toot}

I recently read a quote stating that if you don't know how to explain something, then you simply don't know it.  I find this completely false. 

You know when I first started school (and this is an entirely different post), I couldn't explain WHY I positioned my subjects in my images the way I did, I just knew it felt natural, and it happened naturally.  Later, I came to realize there was a term for this so called, "Rule of Thirds".  We were later asked to define this, and my mind went blank.  I didn't know how, I just knew HOW.  It happened without my thinking... it just was.  Now, I'm not boasting here, but I am explaining rather, what is... natural. 

Its okay to naturally love what I do, and its okay to be PROUD of what I do.  Its okay to admit, "I'm a photographer."  and its okay to shamelessly fill out paper work, as"self employed".   

It is what I do.  It is what God has called me to do, and its taken me a good 5+ years to slowly figure this out.  Not to mention this is only the BEGINNING... I have no clue where He is taking me next, but I'm ready, and always preparing and searching. 

Your calling may not be like mine, but it is YOURS.  My husband has um zero artsy fartsy fibers in him {although, he can curl some mean curly ribbon}, but he is the best mathematician, people person I have ever met, and God has used him in so many different ways throughout his career.   Its amazing to see and witness.  (ps. Machining is an art form, in my opinion)

Don't miss your calling in fear of owning it.
   

Be PROUD of what you do, or no one else will.  BELIEVE in what you do, or no one else will. 

{ps. I personally seek creativity and art in everything.... EVERYTHING. There is always more than meets the eye.}

Faith, Love, & Calling, 

Casey 

One Month and Counting

This will more than likely be one of my final weekly posts on my feetsies.

With that being said, they are healing marvelously, and although doc said I need to tame it down a bit, I'm a "Romero" by genes, a mother by nature, and wife that means business, I'm not exactly sure what "tame it down" means, but I hear it's rather boring.

So far, it's been over a month, and although my feet aren't 100% better (and they will be in about 11 months. yes... I know.), I am in awe at how well the body heals itself, and with me being a youngin' and all, its that much more apparent.  yay!

Everyday, I push myself further, and I push the abilities of what my feet could and couldn't do yesterday.  Sometimes, it comes back to bite me in the butt, while others, I am one step closer (pun intended) to victory! ::throws hands up in the air and shimmies::

Its been a while since I've shown pix from Week 1, and since the healing progress is very much progressing, I think its time to shown them off, again.

WEEK 1:

WEEK 5:

Top 10 things I can do NOW that I couldn't do Week 1:

1) Take a shower.  (this is DEF #1!!)  But I'll admit, its a bit tricky.  My wounds are still a bit bruised, and with huge water droplets coming down with a "rain shower head" vengeance, its a tad bit painful.  I have, however, conjured up some rather nifty positions in which those droplets can drown... right down the drain. =]

2) I am able to SHAVE.... ALL of my leg. Before, it looked like an ankle sock made of hair. Not cute.

3) I wear SHOES.... oh how I've missed thee. However, I can only wear sneakers (yes, I call them sneakers).  Otherwise, I could run the risk of dislocating my toes. OUCH!

4) I can cut my toe nails!  Something that felt superrrr weird before, due to the numbness of my toes.  And although, this is wonderful, I haven't actually made my way to doing it quite yet.  Tonight after #1, I will though! And possibly even paint them??

5) I can rest my feet on top of each other!  I loveeee crossing my legs while chillin' in the cama or lounging on the couch.  This is also makes it easier while in my oh so peaceful slumber.  I don't have to worry about knocking them on each other.  Not pleasant, might I add.

6) I can sleep with blankets ON my feet.  Before the weight of the covers were to much to bear, but now, its not so bad, and once I'm asleep, I hardly realize any pain at all. Other times, my feet get entangled in the sheets, and I freak out, which then DOES cause pain. ::cough:: loser, I know.

7) I can brave public without a wheelchair or people looking at me funny. I do however, still have to walk a bit slower. And those I'm with, still walk ahead of me. Rude.

8) I'm able to be up and about a bit more...  prob not as much as I should, but um yeah, we discussed this at the beginning of this post. ha.  I can't quite hop on my elliptical (that is collecting dusts as I type), but at least I'm more mobile than I was before, and that means at least some kinda calories are being burned.

9) I am able to DRIVE.  Well, technically, yes, but Jr won't allow me.  However, my mind is wandering towards "Be rebellious, Casey".  Maybe??

10) And last, but not least, I can walk on my ENTIRE foot.  Before, I was walking on either my heals or the side of my feet which has resulted in them becoming severely dry and cracked.  Again, not cute, and well, not very pleasant feeling wise.  Doc did give me powerful lotion, and it seems to be clearing up slowly but surely.  Nonetheless, walking on my ENTIRE foot is freedom!

{1st day I wore both shoes. Happy Feet, indeed!}

- I am still not able to get too too close to Aislynn, Jr, or my pups, because it still seems that when I do, something or rather grazes my feet, and pain is slightly inflicted.  After last week's incident, I'm not so sure I'm ready to take my chances.

- I also can't walk around without at least socks on, and even then I'm being very brave (and possibly stupid).  My dog weighs about 50+ lbs maybe, and she loves to give me hugs, while both pups love to follow me around all.day.long, and then sit at my feet wherever I park them, soooo I have to be extra careful. 

- I can't yet stand up for too too long.  My feet start to ache extremely bad, and although I'm back to working, I still make sure I ice my feet once I get home just in case.

- I can't fully bend my feet yet.  This somewhat makes me sad, because although I only danced for said amount of years, I worked hard to get my feet as flexible as they were, and for some odd reason, I don't think they will be same once healing is complete.  I'm not as flexible elsewhere, and my feet were the only flexible awesomeness left.  =(

- I can't exercise.  And of course, I've never had the desire to exercise more in my entire.life. Go figure. We always want what we can't have. =/

- Stretching is still kinda funny, and a bit tingly.  You know when you get up in the morning, and naturally your body grows about 5 inches? ha.  My bones simply aren't ready for that much action... yet.



So, that's about it for, now.  Either way, both ways, and every which'a'way, I am thankful!





Faith, Love, and Flexibility (literally and figuratively),
Casey

Tut tut, it looks like RAIN.

^^ Ahh, one of my all time favorite movies. ^^


My lovely friend and sistaaa in Christ, Connie Gomez, of Momma of Dos, blogged about rain, and how its refreshing; not only to the earth's soil, but to our soil.  {Genesis 2:7}

I wanted to expand on it a bit, but perhaps in my own views...



As Christians, we all go through droughts, and we all go through seasons. 

Some are dryer and harsher than others, while some are quick and quaint.  Either way, there is always some revival of some sort ; big or small; something that rejuvenates our soul and ignites passion and motivation into every fiber of our being.

Now, let's talk about this drought...
Dry.
There really isn't much to say, is there? That pretty much sums it up.  You're at a point in your faith where things are going perfect... maybe a little too perfect, and you wonder, "Where do I go from here?" or perhaps you think, "Is this it?  Is this all that Christ is about?? I want more, but how???"

Now, we all know, God doesn't ever want us to get too too comfortable.  Does that sound mean?  Well, it shouldn't.  And this is why... He wants to forge us like fire does a steel.  He cares enough about us to qualify us for something GREATER; something He knows we can become.  So what does He do?  He puts obstacles in our way; small, big, little, large... there they are.  Now, we can either humbly except them with the reminder that He has a plan, or we can worry and become bitter and question God and His motives.  Personally, even in the midst of chaos, I have learned these last few months, its easier to LET GO and LET GOD.  Both have a way of creating something wild and crazy throughout the experience, however we can rest assure that we will never be left out in the dark to fend for ourselves.  I know this cannot be said for every situation, because not every situation is as trying as some, BUT, we can try, and because we have a loving and merciful God, He rejoices in that alone.

So, here we are.... we're tired and thirsty... Literally and figuratively because we are doing all that we possibly can to figure out WHY this is happening, and WHERE we are going next, and IF we'll ever get there, because what we're in and where we are just seem so far fetched that discipleship has cast itself into a mirage.  A mirage of questioning, belittling, and disappointment with all the ways of moving forward (in our faith) put at a stand still.  This is where our soul cries out, and God answers...


RAIN.
...Cold and wet, sometimes destructive, but at the end, refreshing, and sometimes, we don't even come to realize it is refreshing until the end, because during the down pour, we're trying to avoid it; we don't want to get wet, or damage any personal items (for me, its my hardworking straightened hair).  We want to stay clear until it passes, and then come out when the sun is shining.

I like to picture each droplet as an obstacle; as something so refine and so intricate, that it is it's own set of problems poured into one tiny bubble, while at the same time, these tiny bubbles are really all the same.  Each bubble droplet is grouped with numerous other droplets; they fall the same, and come from the same source.  Each droplet makes it's way through cracks, crevices, and all throughout earth's creation.  Their mission: to bring forth life. 

In the same light, I see our obstacles (or droplets) come from one source above; our loving God. He chooses to send them down individually, yet at the same time, He chooses to send them in a way that we are able to address them one at a time; fear, worry, doubt, anger, hurt, sorrow, yet eventually tackle them before the rain stops.  (does this make sense? it sounded better in my head) During this down-pour (because usually that's how they all seem, right), although we are cold, wet, and possibly damaged, we have been refreshed.  We have been forged even slightly.  We are now ready for the next drought, and the next drought, and the next.

After each rain, there is a rainbow; one that stands for hope, peace, faith, and love!  One that stands for accomplishment, overcoming, and pride; pride in the Lord!  One that resembles thankfulness, grace, and ultimately, one that humbles us.  We made it through, and we will push on, strive, and see through.




Let it rain, Lord.  Open the flood gates of heaven.
 



ps. I am not a proof-reader (as you may have very well figured that out already). =]




Faith, Love, & RAIN,
Casey

All smiles and blue steels | Part II

Part II

Location: Austin, Tx.

Models: Ha! Us!

Photographer: Clayton Austin. of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories

Makeup: Maris Calderon (Austin, TX)

My Clothes: 

Dress and coverup: Forever21

Sandals: Target

Hair Accessory: Etsy.com

Bangles: Aldo's

Red flower ring: Target

Heart ring: personal

Jr's Clothes:

Shirt: American Rag (Macy's)

Pants: Levi's

Shoes: Aldo's




Faith & Love,
Casey

All smiles and blue steels. | Part I

This past April Jr and I made a quick trip to Austin to have our portraits done my all.time.favorite. photographer, Clayton Austin of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories.  We had such a blast working with him, and I must say the experience was something that shouldn't be done once in a blue moon; possibly yearly? ha!

The weather was gorgeous, the light dreamy, and the wind... insane!  My hair and dress were all over the place, and I'm sure Clayton wished he had a pair of scissors to chop my bangs off and out of the way.  ha.

Anywho, I am in loveeeeeeeeeee with these images!! IN LOVE!


Thank you, Clayton, for being... as you would put it, "F'ing awesome"... Yep, there's that Clayton Austin again... what's he up to this time?? A floating chair perhaps?  Why yes... yes he is...

"Epic."


Enjoy!

Location: Austin, Tx.

Models: Ha! Us!

Photographer: Clayton Austin. of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories

Makeup: Maris Calderon (Austin, TX)

My Clothes: 

Dress and coverup: Forever21

Sandals: Target

Hair Accessory: Etsy.com

Bangles: Aldo's

Red flower ring: Target

Heart ring: personal

Jr's Clothes:

Shirt: American Rag (Macy's)

Pants: Levi's

Shoes: Aldo's

Stay tuned for Part II, tomorrow!

Faith, Love, and Blue Steels,
Casey