the carriage before the horse.

the other night, jr and i were laying in bed having our nightly pillow talk.
in between the silence, i looked over to him, and noticed an intense stare.

asked him what he was thinking,
and he simply said, "of all that we've been through... and all we have to look forward to."

i always have these thoughts...
randomly, much like he had that very night.

to fall in love everyday over and over again, that is us.
everyday, i feel more appreciative of him, of our love, our family...
its surreal, sometimes, or really... most of the time.

and now, being pregnant, when just months ago, was something we wanted to wait for until the time was "right", but then suddenly realized there is no "right" time... our marriage will never be perfect.

so here we are...
a family of 3, soon-to-be 4.

i never knew being pregnant and loving your spouse so much could make your heart leap SO far for joy.  some days, i imagine myself with my hands around his neck... other days, i imagine myself with my arms thrown in the air shouting from the mountain tops just how wonderful and special he is. but everyday, i embrace the reality of what is now, what was then, and what is soon to come. blessed.

many of you know, i got pregnant with aislynn after only a month of dating jr.
we weren't married in any form or fashion, and we didn't truly love each other... we were merely infatuated. we were surviving each other, and we rarely looked into the future... it seemed so hopeless many days, and other days, it was just any day.  there was no faith to carry us through the tough times, and no amount of humble and thankfulness to cradle the good times. 

but today....
a completely different story.

i never knew that patience with love could pay off the way it has....
i never allowed myself to know, because i was young and "in love".
i'm so glad we decided to wait... decided to wait until we had a good (not perfect) foundation before we continued to grow our little family.  this has been such an exciting time in our lives, and we are embracing and loving each and every second of it! when we once were questioning if there was even going to be a future, we now actually have hopes and dreams for the future we know is awaiting us.

and please do not thinking i'm blogging all of this to toot my own horn, because, obviously i've been on both sides of the fence, but this is a {true} story jr and i want to one day share with both Aislynn and Bella... that true love does wait.  with Aislynn, we only wish we could have experienced that journey the way God intended to, but nonetheless, He carried us through those times, and it is just another testimony to add to our novel.


thankful for a God of second chances...
to love and experience all over again, but this time, in a different light... in HIS light.
<3

{our wedding day 2008}

Faith & Love,
Casey

a love worth fighting for.

happy day before the day full of l.o.v.e!
<3

is it really already valentine's day?
i guess so, because last night at the grocery store, i saw pastel fluffy bunnies adorning shelves, then locked my eyes on chocolate eggs sweetly cuddled in pastel foil wrapping.
mmmmmmmmmm.

i love the holidays, and i love to gift give as often as i am able.
but this year, jr and i won't be exchanging gifts, and we won't be spending $50-$75+ on dinner.
not gonna lie, we don't have the funds to do so, and if we did, we probably would.  i'm not going to sit here and act like i'm better than anyone, more humble, or less materialistic.  that may be you and your spouse and that's perfectly fine, but us... nawww... we rather enjoy exchanging gifts-- generally because we have absolutely no say in what we give each other... the surprise is FUN! and we sure do enjoy a nice quiet romantic dinner. this year, however, the funds simply aren't there.

it is what it is.

this month, we're saving up for something far greater than any gift we could ever exchange.
i can't really mention what exactly, but soon...

and all the sacrifice, patience, and faith will have paid off.
eventually. one way or another.

much like it has with our marriage.

in the beginning, it was hard.
real hard. real real real hard.
(did i mention REAL hard? k. just checking.)

throw a baby in the mix, and the mixer just got a lot more complicated (not to mention, a lot more pricey. ha!).

we used fight.
about every.single.little.thing.
we'd throw ugly words at each other, just to spite, and then hop on our high horse and gallop away without a single feeling of sorrow.

i for one, know i was a horrible wife.
one i wouldn't have even married, myself.
i was selfish, rude, inconsiderate, and demanding.
my heart was in it for me, not for him.

jr...
he was lazy, unsympathetic, non-communicative.
he loved his job more than anything, and money was his go-getter.

this amongst many other issues made our lives extremely difficult.
divorce was clearly in our future, and was always seen as the easy way out, because honestly, it is the easy way out.  that's what society makes so clear... "i won't change for anyone! this is ME! take it or leave it".
sad. with this attitude, "leave it" is right... "left alone" is more like it.

some people would say i have radical beliefs when it comes to my faith. and hey, that's me. i'd rather take it the hard way, than to travel the easy way.  i'm a head on, kinda gal... there is no half way with me.  so with marriage, i firmly believe stick it out, work it out, pray it out, unless there is cheating, physical or emotional abuse.  unless your spouse is telling you not to love God.  nah-uh. mama don't play.  otherwise, our God is greater.  greater than the petty arguments and fights.  greater than the many nights left crying yourself to sleep. He's bigger than it all, and His power... never underestimate it.  #truestory

so anywho, who wants to argue with a big headed salvadorian, anyway?
and who wants to bicker with a mexican gringa who thinks she's knows it all? as if!

but no matter what, at the end of the day, we knew deep down, we would simply die without each other. we compliment each other so very well, sometimes, its almost frightening. we fit each other like a glove.  every day, i fall more and more in love with him, and every day, i know he is the best gift God has given to me, next to Aislynn.  life is ALIVE because i married this man. our relationship may not be like yours, and may not be acceptable to you by your standards, but it works for us, and is working for us.  we aren't perfect, but we're the right amount of perfect for each other.

yeah, we still argue and fight, but i promise the anger doesn't settle any longer than 5 minutes, and then we're back to laughing as if nothing happened. and this is only by the grace of God, because boy, can we get on each other's nerves. ha!

i'm happy and thankful for the woman and wife God has molded me into. i know i still have a ways to go, but i'm glad i'm not where i was. the second i learned of needing to love as Christ loves us, everything changed. i looked in the mirror and saw the devil devouring my marriage, my heart, my spirit, and my love... the very same love Christ pours into us.  it was scary, and i wanted nothing more than to be the wife jr deserved, and to be the woman i know i deserved... the woman God created me to be.

every day, as annoying as jr is (ha!), i'm so proud of who he has become. i always catch myself asking, "wow. is this really my husband?"   he's a beautiful example of what love truly means.


our love is worth fighting for.
not because we say so, but because HE says so.

to God, we give ALL the GLORY!
there is NOTHING impossible for Him.
He's the Healer of all healers.
He healed our marriage.
He melted our hearts and out poured love only He can supply.

i can't imagine my life without my best friend.




i love you, jr.

(images: Clayton Austin.Love.Stories.)

"i have found the one, whom my soul loves."

song of solomon 3:4

<3

a whole lotta FAITH & a whole lotta LOVE,
Casey

All smiles and blue steels | Part II

Part II

Location: Austin, Tx.

Models: Ha! Us!

Photographer: Clayton Austin. of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories

Makeup: Maris Calderon (Austin, TX)

My Clothes: 

Dress and coverup: Forever21

Sandals: Target

Hair Accessory: Etsy.com

Bangles: Aldo's

Red flower ring: Target

Heart ring: personal

Jr's Clothes:

Shirt: American Rag (Macy's)

Pants: Levi's

Shoes: Aldo's




Faith & Love,
Casey

All smiles and blue steels. | Part I

This past April Jr and I made a quick trip to Austin to have our portraits done my all.time.favorite. photographer, Clayton Austin of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories.  We had such a blast working with him, and I must say the experience was something that shouldn't be done once in a blue moon; possibly yearly? ha!

The weather was gorgeous, the light dreamy, and the wind... insane!  My hair and dress were all over the place, and I'm sure Clayton wished he had a pair of scissors to chop my bangs off and out of the way.  ha.

Anywho, I am in loveeeeeeeeeee with these images!! IN LOVE!


Thank you, Clayton, for being... as you would put it, "F'ing awesome"... Yep, there's that Clayton Austin again... what's he up to this time?? A floating chair perhaps?  Why yes... yes he is...

"Epic."


Enjoy!

Location: Austin, Tx.

Models: Ha! Us!

Photographer: Clayton Austin. of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories

Makeup: Maris Calderon (Austin, TX)

My Clothes: 

Dress and coverup: Forever21

Sandals: Target

Hair Accessory: Etsy.com

Bangles: Aldo's

Red flower ring: Target

Heart ring: personal

Jr's Clothes:

Shirt: American Rag (Macy's)

Pants: Levi's

Shoes: Aldo's

Stay tuned for Part II, tomorrow!

Faith, Love, and Blue Steels,
Casey

Our Love.

In January 2005, shortly after my 19th birthday, I began my job at Target.
My very first day, I met him.
We exchanged smiles, sarcasm, and tampon sales stickers.


I went home that night, and told my entire family, "I am going to marry him."
yes. at 19, might I add. ha.



The rest is history.


Jr and I have come a long long way....

Getting pregnant when I was 20.  Having a baby when I was 20.  And THEN getting married when I was 21.  You could say those were the 2 most busiest, stressful, NEW 2 years of my entire life.  My world changed in a matter of months, and adapting wasn't easy.  I was barely getting used to not having to wake up early for high school, or not having to do any homework.  And shortly after I walked across that stage, I was getting used to changing diapers, making bottles, and sleeping next to the man my dad wanted to kill for impregnating his baby girl.



Now, I'm a pro at changing diapers.  ONE wipey, no mess, and in under 10 seconds. (email me for my tricks!)
Now, I'm preparing my baby girl for Kindergarten next year.
Now, I'm leaving love notes on the bathroom mirror for the man that my dad now loves like a son.
Now, I'm planning family vacations.
Now, I'm planning a family extension.


I'm a Christ Follower.
I'm a wife.
Now, I'm a mother.
I'm a entrepreneur.


It all still seems so surreal, and sometimes, I just sit and think about how far my family and I have come in such a short amount of time, and I can't help but tear up. Despite some things here and there, and even then, BLESSED is the word that pretty much sums it all up.  I am so thankful for everything; the good, the bad, and the ooglayyy (because "ugly" just isn't enough).

I won't lie, there were times, many many times, Jr and I didn't think we would make it to where we are now, but we stuck it out, pushed through, and here we are...

Two birds in love... that sometimes want to bite each other's head's off.
Two kids (I still see us that way...) who are on a wild and crazy adventure, together.
Two parents who will always always still be trying to figure "it" out.
Two followers of Christ, who not too long ago, could say they were.
Two beings who seek the same... love.  The same unconditional love.



Thank you sweetie, for loving me for me.  That's simply all I can say, yet words can never express. You mean the world to me, and more.  I will love you today, forever, and for always.

To infinity and beyond.

HAPPY 4yr MARRIAGE ANNIVERSARY!

Then {2007}:

 

Now {2011}:

{geez. only 4 years... typing it out makes it seem like only 4 days, yet it seems like a long 4 years... a HAPPY long, that is. hehe}





Faith, Love, and Marriage,
Casey