29 and young.

today, the GOOD Lord blessed one little lady with a sweet little baby boy.
he's the best thing to come from a Salvadorean since a pupusa. ha!

my knight in shining armor.
the cheese to my mac.

i love him more than he will ever know.
to the moon and back, and then beyond.
forever and for always.

happy birthday, sweetie! 

^^my handsome fellow^^

Faith and Love,

Casey

day 17

the past 2 days have been chaos.
immature chaos.
chaos that could have easily been avoided.


a wonderful opportunity knocked on jr's doorstep.
an opportunity that will better his career, better our family, and better our future.

he was honest and true throughout the entire process.
unfortunately, it was ill received, and he was lashed out at in a very ugly verbal manner, leaving him terminated from his job nearly 2 weeks early, when they clearly needed him to complete some assignments.

2 weeks without pay is killer.
and i'll admit worry was weighing heavy on my heart for so many different reasons.

BUT, God stepped in.
he worked through jr...
"do not worry. I will provide."

a day went by, but for me, the worry had yet to fade.
jr never wavered.

he said to me, "i'm telling you not to worry... just as you have told me not to worry, because when we worry, we are not allowing God to do His work."

i stopped to think...
"wow... i need to take my own advice, but my goodness, i see no other way out. what is left to do? and more importantly, why can't i have the faith jr is so humbling and faithfully professing?"

it was a bittersweet moment...
the faith jr preached carried me through the tears.


he later called me with wonderful news...
news of God doing just what he had promised...
PROVIDING.

jr was originally set for orientation tuesday feb. 27.
he's now set for orientation this upcoming tuesday, feb. 21.

one of the many reasons i admire my hubby so.
it wasn't always like this... i, personally, carried the load of faith for my household for a long while, but no matter what anybody says, people can change.  God is so POWERFUL like that, and to see the works of Him being worked in jr's heart AND in mine simultaneously, brings me to tears.  our faith is being tested TOGETHER, and TOGETHER we are rising above what the enemy plans for defeat.

prayer is powerful.
its real.

believe it & see it.

god's timing.
perfect.

DAY 17:

"time"

Moral of the story: There is no testimony without the TEST! <3

Faith & Love,
Casey

a love worth fighting for.

happy day before the day full of l.o.v.e!
<3

is it really already valentine's day?
i guess so, because last night at the grocery store, i saw pastel fluffy bunnies adorning shelves, then locked my eyes on chocolate eggs sweetly cuddled in pastel foil wrapping.
mmmmmmmmmm.

i love the holidays, and i love to gift give as often as i am able.
but this year, jr and i won't be exchanging gifts, and we won't be spending $50-$75+ on dinner.
not gonna lie, we don't have the funds to do so, and if we did, we probably would.  i'm not going to sit here and act like i'm better than anyone, more humble, or less materialistic.  that may be you and your spouse and that's perfectly fine, but us... nawww... we rather enjoy exchanging gifts-- generally because we have absolutely no say in what we give each other... the surprise is FUN! and we sure do enjoy a nice quiet romantic dinner. this year, however, the funds simply aren't there.

it is what it is.

this month, we're saving up for something far greater than any gift we could ever exchange.
i can't really mention what exactly, but soon...

and all the sacrifice, patience, and faith will have paid off.
eventually. one way or another.

much like it has with our marriage.

in the beginning, it was hard.
real hard. real real real hard.
(did i mention REAL hard? k. just checking.)

throw a baby in the mix, and the mixer just got a lot more complicated (not to mention, a lot more pricey. ha!).

we used fight.
about every.single.little.thing.
we'd throw ugly words at each other, just to spite, and then hop on our high horse and gallop away without a single feeling of sorrow.

i for one, know i was a horrible wife.
one i wouldn't have even married, myself.
i was selfish, rude, inconsiderate, and demanding.
my heart was in it for me, not for him.

jr...
he was lazy, unsympathetic, non-communicative.
he loved his job more than anything, and money was his go-getter.

this amongst many other issues made our lives extremely difficult.
divorce was clearly in our future, and was always seen as the easy way out, because honestly, it is the easy way out.  that's what society makes so clear... "i won't change for anyone! this is ME! take it or leave it".
sad. with this attitude, "leave it" is right... "left alone" is more like it.

some people would say i have radical beliefs when it comes to my faith. and hey, that's me. i'd rather take it the hard way, than to travel the easy way.  i'm a head on, kinda gal... there is no half way with me.  so with marriage, i firmly believe stick it out, work it out, pray it out, unless there is cheating, physical or emotional abuse.  unless your spouse is telling you not to love God.  nah-uh. mama don't play.  otherwise, our God is greater.  greater than the petty arguments and fights.  greater than the many nights left crying yourself to sleep. He's bigger than it all, and His power... never underestimate it.  #truestory

so anywho, who wants to argue with a big headed salvadorian, anyway?
and who wants to bicker with a mexican gringa who thinks she's knows it all? as if!

but no matter what, at the end of the day, we knew deep down, we would simply die without each other. we compliment each other so very well, sometimes, its almost frightening. we fit each other like a glove.  every day, i fall more and more in love with him, and every day, i know he is the best gift God has given to me, next to Aislynn.  life is ALIVE because i married this man. our relationship may not be like yours, and may not be acceptable to you by your standards, but it works for us, and is working for us.  we aren't perfect, but we're the right amount of perfect for each other.

yeah, we still argue and fight, but i promise the anger doesn't settle any longer than 5 minutes, and then we're back to laughing as if nothing happened. and this is only by the grace of God, because boy, can we get on each other's nerves. ha!

i'm happy and thankful for the woman and wife God has molded me into. i know i still have a ways to go, but i'm glad i'm not where i was. the second i learned of needing to love as Christ loves us, everything changed. i looked in the mirror and saw the devil devouring my marriage, my heart, my spirit, and my love... the very same love Christ pours into us.  it was scary, and i wanted nothing more than to be the wife jr deserved, and to be the woman i know i deserved... the woman God created me to be.

every day, as annoying as jr is (ha!), i'm so proud of who he has become. i always catch myself asking, "wow. is this really my husband?"   he's a beautiful example of what love truly means.


our love is worth fighting for.
not because we say so, but because HE says so.

to God, we give ALL the GLORY!
there is NOTHING impossible for Him.
He's the Healer of all healers.
He healed our marriage.
He melted our hearts and out poured love only He can supply.

i can't imagine my life without my best friend.




i love you, jr.

(images: Clayton Austin.Love.Stories.)

"i have found the one, whom my soul loves."

song of solomon 3:4

<3

a whole lotta FAITH & a whole lotta LOVE,
Casey

A Pinterest Kind'a Surprise!

Since we planned for Cupcake, and since Pinterest in my new BFF, I figured.... hmm, let me browse the preggo world, and see what's new!  And um wow... Everything "new" these days, make Miss A seem like she's a century old!  I kid you not, I saw an ipad looking baby monitor at Target!  My jaw literally dropped, and my eyes went "cha-ching!"

After discovering Cupcake was baking in this oven, I knew EXACTLY how I wanted to tell Jr, only thing was, I'd actually have to keep it a secret for almost 12 entire whole hours!  Geez.   I can't keep anything from that man, and he's the same way with me.  We just love to share our excitement, even if its over how much we paid for gas that day. ha!  I made a promise to myself, and asked God to put His hand over my big mouth, and to give me patience and agility.  Yes, agility!  I had to make a bee-line to the store in between all of my errands for the day in order to get exactly what I needed and put it all together before baby-daddy arrived.

It HAD to be SPECIAL.  A phone call? No.  Text? No.  Trip to his job? Tempting, but no.
All I knew was that this may (and very may) well be our last baby, and I wanted to go out with a BANG! When first finding out Miss A was "Coming Soon", it wasn't exactly a scene from a Lifetime movie... or maybe it was... maybe Juno?? Yeah... Juno.

We looked at each other like this (picture it with me, now):

 

{Excuse the language, but I'm pretty sure this is exactly what we both said.

It was a scary time, and very surreal.  Obviously, we knew the consequences of not using protection, but we were two dumb kids in love, and obviously, nothing else mattered.  These days, we look back, and that was THE best "Oh Sh*t" EVER!}

SO yes!, Back to the SURPRISE! While browsing Pinterest, I came across this piece of brilliance:

And this is pretty much exactly what I did.  I really wish I had taken pictures, but I was in such a rush, I barely had time to even wrap the box. Boo.

The first piece to the surprise: 
Earlier that morning, my sister and I went painting with Miss A in honor of her birthday celebrations.
See?

I immediately saw this and immediately new I had to paint it:

Before:

That little opening, there?? What the heck is that for?? Any ideas?? 

Well, I used it to place my positive preggo stick.

Of course, I had to put my Picasso skills to use (ahem).
The result?

ps. please excuse my poor quality camera pix.  I have a Blackberry, and no, not the new ones.  

<<<--- Wishful iphone user. =(

My original idea for a box came from the Baby aisle at CVS in the shape of a pack of diapers, however, $25 for a present (or really, the box alone) just didn't seem wise.  Plus, the big bold HUGGIES lettering would probably give it away before the box was even opened.  Needing to improvise, I scoured my dad's office for a box.  Found one.  Headed to our local Dollar Tree, and grabbed some yellow wrapping paper as well as crumbled tissue paper in yellow, brown, and white (I now, regret the brown, but at the time, I thought it looked pretty)  I also scoured the balloon wall for the perfect "Baby" balloon.  Found one, had someone pump some helium in the sucker, and was out the door in a matter of minutes.

The clock was ticking, and Jr would be getting off work in 20 minutes, and it only takes him 3 minutes to get home, so time was of.the.essence.  PLUS, I had to explain and re-explain (or try to) why on earth we bought a "Baby" balloon when "there is no baby", said Aislynn.  This was tricky, because I knew the second Jr were to walk in the front door, Miss A would open her mouth, and spill the beans before I could even tell daddy I had a bean growing inside of my belly. {this was a task in itself}

I put together the box, thew in the tissues paper, tied the balloon ribbon around my painted baby bottle, carefully placed the balloon inside, making sure it would float to a nice distance, preferably eye level to Jr (I know. I know, I'm so thoughtful), closed the box, taped it, and wrapped it.

DANG! Forgot the pretty bow! Oh well!

Okay, now, let's make it look like I was doing something important... 

doodeedooodeeeedoooo.

Jr walked in, showered, changed, and with minutes to spare before we had to all head back out the door, Jr opened the box, and it happened just like I imagined (that hardly ever happens, so I was pretty giddy).  We laughed, we cried, we hugged.  And then REPEAT. 

It was a good day. 

A good day, indeed. 

Faith, Love, and a Pinterest Surprise, 

Casey

Who me??

Jonathan Acuff said it well,  "The talent we have the hardest time recognizing is our own."

This post is going to be hard to write without coming off like I have a stick up my nice round tush, but I'll try.

art·ist

 [ahr-tist]

noun
 

1. a person who produces works in any of the arts  that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria.

2. a person who practices one of the fine arts,  especially a painter or sculptor.

3. a person whose trade or profession requires a knowledge of design, drawing, painting, etc.: a commercial artist.

4. a person who works in one of the performing arts,  as an actor, musician, or singer; a public performer: a mime artist; an artist of the dance.

5. a person whose work exhibits exceptional skill.

Um, so THIS is hard to wrap my head around, so I'll just leave it at "creative being", which is how I like to describe myself. 

 

cre·a·tive

 [kree-ey-tiv]

adjective

1. having the quality or power of creating.

2. resulting from originality of thought, expression, etc.; imaginative: creative writing.

3. originative; productive (usually followed by of ).

4. Facetious . using or creating  exaggerated or skewed data, information, etc.: creative bookkeeping.

ahh yes, that feels much better.  

Growing up you always match the word, "Artist" with folks like Michelangelo, Van Gogh, or Monet.  All of which are highly credible and masters of their own work.  However, they all come from the same artistic background... They were born this way.  (you're humming Lady Gaga now, aren't you?) God implanted the gift of art IN them, and I'm sure once they first started out, they too had doubts about calling themselves "artists".  And I wonder if they ever felt like they mastered their craft.  

We are our own worst critics.  Once we reach the point of satisfaction, its drifts away faster than we can grab it and hold on to it.  Its gone before we've even realized satisfaction was sitting at our door step.  Why?  Because we're always after something greater; achieving what was once a dream, and testing our boundaries. 

While in the midst of doing all of the said above, we are confronted with the term "artist" by either peers or complete strangers.  Time stands still, and our minds go blank.  "Who me??  ha.  Nahhhhh.  I just love what I do."   But what DO YOU DO?  You create.  You artistically conform and conjure up some pretty wicked goodness, whether you're proud of it or not, you created it; its yours; you birthed it.  Which ultimately makes YOU an ARTIST.  And you know what?  Not everybody has to like YOUR form of ART, but it is what is is... ART.

Before I began my photographic journey, to be very very honest, I never saw myself sitting in an actual office setting.  As fun as that is for some (and I'm not being sarcastic), its not me.  I always knew I was made for more, and as horrible as they may sound, I promise no job is beneath me, because I will praise Him anyway, however, I somehow knew that being in an office wasn't my calling. (and it still may be in the future, but not in this very moment).  As soon as my feet heal, I'll be looking to get a part-time... hoping at a preschool somewhere.  I want to be around kids more, and feel that in this way, I'll be able to give back, which has been heavy on my heart lately; there's just so many benefits to this!


Now, please don't get me wrong here, because there are in fact creative office settings, and there are in fact ways you can be creative, and give back creatively within your job, but for me, personally, I feel God is using me in a different manner.  Although we are all made in His image, our journey is not all the same.  The rewarding destination, however?  Yes.  {ps.  creativity is in the eye of the beholder}

Once I began my photographic journey, I began to realize that yeah, I loveeee all that artsy fartsy stuff! Its so ME.  I love design, imagination, and the spirit of which it all derives.   Its fascinating and it gives me the warm fuzzies.  And then I began to notice it wasn't just on the outside that I enjoyed all of this stuff, but, it was on the inside, too.  I enjoy whacky colors, and for as long as I can remember I always always enjoyed interior decorating.  I used to decorate and re-arrange my bedroom just about every 6 months or so when I was in middle school, and even before then, I knew what symmetry was, and that I was addicted.  I knew what balance was, and how it was a must with umm...just about everything, one way or another.  I knew that I loved to take pictures, and people actually thought they were good... good enough for me to actually somewhat kinda sorta believe what they thought.  ha.  I've always loved HAIR, and styling it, and never getting my hair cut the same, because I don't like "same"; I like different.  I like different results, and I thrive on results and finished product!  I knew that although my own fashion didn't convey my love for fashion, either way, I knew it made me happy on the inside and got me excited about piecing odd with even more odd.  I knew that "typical" wasn't apart of my vocabulary, and I also knew that being bored was just plain boring.  I knew that my perfectionism didn't just apply to my color coordinated closet, but to how I arranged even my drawer of silverware.  I knew I lived my life through lyrics.  I knew that my curtains had to hang a certain way and be a certain distance from each other.  Some may call this OCD, but I call this visual satisfaction!  My atmosphere was my creative outlet.... always. 

....I can go on, but my point is, I was created by my Creator to be a creative being. Its been in my blood for as long as I can remember, but...

It has finally hit me. 

I may not be as good as some may think, but to me, I AM GOOD.  I am never fully satisfied, but GOOD, I am.  And I'm not afraid to announce that!  {yes, toot toot}

I recently read a quote stating that if you don't know how to explain something, then you simply don't know it.  I find this completely false. 

You know when I first started school (and this is an entirely different post), I couldn't explain WHY I positioned my subjects in my images the way I did, I just knew it felt natural, and it happened naturally.  Later, I came to realize there was a term for this so called, "Rule of Thirds".  We were later asked to define this, and my mind went blank.  I didn't know how, I just knew HOW.  It happened without my thinking... it just was.  Now, I'm not boasting here, but I am explaining rather, what is... natural. 

Its okay to naturally love what I do, and its okay to be PROUD of what I do.  Its okay to admit, "I'm a photographer."  and its okay to shamelessly fill out paper work, as"self employed".   

It is what I do.  It is what God has called me to do, and its taken me a good 5+ years to slowly figure this out.  Not to mention this is only the BEGINNING... I have no clue where He is taking me next, but I'm ready, and always preparing and searching. 

Your calling may not be like mine, but it is YOURS.  My husband has um zero artsy fartsy fibers in him {although, he can curl some mean curly ribbon}, but he is the best mathematician, people person I have ever met, and God has used him in so many different ways throughout his career.   Its amazing to see and witness.  (ps. Machining is an art form, in my opinion)

Don't miss your calling in fear of owning it.
   

Be PROUD of what you do, or no one else will.  BELIEVE in what you do, or no one else will. 

{ps. I personally seek creativity and art in everything.... EVERYTHING. There is always more than meets the eye.}

Faith, Love, & Calling, 

Casey 

All smiles and blue steels | Part II

Part II

Location: Austin, Tx.

Models: Ha! Us!

Photographer: Clayton Austin. of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories

Makeup: Maris Calderon (Austin, TX)

My Clothes: 

Dress and coverup: Forever21

Sandals: Target

Hair Accessory: Etsy.com

Bangles: Aldo's

Red flower ring: Target

Heart ring: personal

Jr's Clothes:

Shirt: American Rag (Macy's)

Pants: Levi's

Shoes: Aldo's




Faith & Love,
Casey

All smiles and blue steels. | Part I

This past April Jr and I made a quick trip to Austin to have our portraits done my all.time.favorite. photographer, Clayton Austin of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories.  We had such a blast working with him, and I must say the experience was something that shouldn't be done once in a blue moon; possibly yearly? ha!

The weather was gorgeous, the light dreamy, and the wind... insane!  My hair and dress were all over the place, and I'm sure Clayton wished he had a pair of scissors to chop my bangs off and out of the way.  ha.

Anywho, I am in loveeeeeeeeeee with these images!! IN LOVE!


Thank you, Clayton, for being... as you would put it, "F'ing awesome"... Yep, there's that Clayton Austin again... what's he up to this time?? A floating chair perhaps?  Why yes... yes he is...

"Epic."


Enjoy!

Location: Austin, Tx.

Models: Ha! Us!

Photographer: Clayton Austin. of Clayton Austin.Love.Stories

Makeup: Maris Calderon (Austin, TX)

My Clothes: 

Dress and coverup: Forever21

Sandals: Target

Hair Accessory: Etsy.com

Bangles: Aldo's

Red flower ring: Target

Heart ring: personal

Jr's Clothes:

Shirt: American Rag (Macy's)

Pants: Levi's

Shoes: Aldo's

Stay tuned for Part II, tomorrow!

Faith, Love, and Blue Steels,
Casey