Tonight...

I sit and can't sleep.  I have 21% left on my comp battery, and 101% of life to type out...

Where to start?
Well, let's state the obvious, I'm a HORRIBLE blogger.  Maybe even BEYOND horrible.
yeah, okay... there I said it. =]

So, I've been feeling even more horrible than the horrible of my non-consistant blogging.  Like, deathly horrible.  Promise, I'm not being over dramatic, but ohemgee.  I've never felt so bad in my entire life.  Laying on the couch everyday for 4 weeks straight plus the worst type of nausea imaginable.  No no no no no... I'm a full time stay at home mom and business owner... my life was literally flashing before my eyes.  I understand it happens during every pregnancy, but this type of nausea... no.... its unbearable, and NOBODY should have to endure it "because making a baby takes a lot out of you".  Yeah, it does take a lot of you, but your LIFE?  No.  Plus, I'd rather my preggo behind be happy, up, active, and eating healthy, than suffering the rest of my 1st trimester, if I'm lucky it doesn't carry over into the 2nd or 3rd.  Muscular atrophy.... yeah, I saw that in my very near future had I not figured out what in the world was making me so sick.  I kid you not, I got up off the couch to pee, and feed my child, and THAT WAS IT.  I couldn't do anymore, no matter how hard I tried.  I love my baby Cupcake, but I need to LIVE.  Sooo, as of right now, I'm just waiting on the doctor to give me a call back regarding an alternative to these specific prenatal vitamins. Just imagine the stomach flu times a gazillion!  I can function with a stomach flu... did it when A was a tinyyy baby and Jr worked a thousand hours a week.  I'm fully capable of sucking it up, and moving on... mind over matter is how I see just about everything (call me insensitive, and not to toot my own, but I trained with US Marines every single day for over a year... never went on to become one, but that experience still lives deeeeeeep down in my heart and mind. "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Life is a mental game, and so on), but anywho... THIS... nah-uh.  I will not die to my family when there are alternatives just to save my pride.  Call me a horrible mother, nope... I don't care.  Your way isn't necessarily the ONLY way. Just sayin'. {<<<--------- Preggo hormones talking.}

ps. I'm already 2+ months!  Once, I get into my 2nd Trimester, I hope to take weekly photographs of myself.  We'll see how that goes! ha!  I tried to do a daily "Thankful" on my photo blog, and after Day 14, I feel like a total failure, because it looks like that's all the days I can count up to in the month of November.  Truth is, my camera was the least of my worries... I just wanted to lay on the couch and drown in my preggo sorrows. womp womp.


Work is coming along... Tonight, I stayed up and inspired... myself.  Its been a while since that last happened, and I think I'm finally ready to take the leap of faith with my business.  I want to photograph exactly how I envision my work... not just because people will "typically" like it, but because it stands out and becomes dare I say it, "ART".  I want to get out of the "norm" and jump into my "photographic dreams".  Truth be told though, I'm absolutely TERRIFIED.  The work I love... I haven't seen much in Texas... and quite frankly that freaks me out.... we're more of a traditional state with traditional values, but my work... I can honestly say, its not much traditional.  However, I feel like I need to clean out my website of all the wonderful work that made me smile, yet wasn't my vision.  Its going to hurt... really.really.bad.  But I know God is in control, and if He wants my business to boom or to boom in the hearts of only a few, I am blessed and grateful regardless.  Just asking for prayer... for me to have the guts to take that leap of faith, and for God's grace to shine in and throughout my entire business... I give it to Him.... Fully, this time.  {January 2012... here I come.}


Hmm... Thanksgiving was wonderful! I enjoyed spending time with my in-laws!  They're always great company!  The turkey... I could have puked on, it made me so sick to even think about... still does. BLAH!  BUT, it was a wonderful day!  Black Friday wasn't too shabby either!

Hope you all had an amazing holiday as well... minus the my personal turkey experience. ahem.
Gobble Gobble!

ps.  Meet Cupcake, who is already 5 days bigger than he/she should be! ha!

Love y'all!


Faith, Love, and Everything Going On NOW,
Casey

Who me??

Jonathan Acuff said it well,  "The talent we have the hardest time recognizing is our own."

This post is going to be hard to write without coming off like I have a stick up my nice round tush, but I'll try.

art·ist

 [ahr-tist]

noun
 

1. a person who produces works in any of the arts  that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria.

2. a person who practices one of the fine arts,  especially a painter or sculptor.

3. a person whose trade or profession requires a knowledge of design, drawing, painting, etc.: a commercial artist.

4. a person who works in one of the performing arts,  as an actor, musician, or singer; a public performer: a mime artist; an artist of the dance.

5. a person whose work exhibits exceptional skill.

Um, so THIS is hard to wrap my head around, so I'll just leave it at "creative being", which is how I like to describe myself. 

 

cre·a·tive

 [kree-ey-tiv]

adjective

1. having the quality or power of creating.

2. resulting from originality of thought, expression, etc.; imaginative: creative writing.

3. originative; productive (usually followed by of ).

4. Facetious . using or creating  exaggerated or skewed data, information, etc.: creative bookkeeping.

ahh yes, that feels much better.  

Growing up you always match the word, "Artist" with folks like Michelangelo, Van Gogh, or Monet.  All of which are highly credible and masters of their own work.  However, they all come from the same artistic background... They were born this way.  (you're humming Lady Gaga now, aren't you?) God implanted the gift of art IN them, and I'm sure once they first started out, they too had doubts about calling themselves "artists".  And I wonder if they ever felt like they mastered their craft.  

We are our own worst critics.  Once we reach the point of satisfaction, its drifts away faster than we can grab it and hold on to it.  Its gone before we've even realized satisfaction was sitting at our door step.  Why?  Because we're always after something greater; achieving what was once a dream, and testing our boundaries. 

While in the midst of doing all of the said above, we are confronted with the term "artist" by either peers or complete strangers.  Time stands still, and our minds go blank.  "Who me??  ha.  Nahhhhh.  I just love what I do."   But what DO YOU DO?  You create.  You artistically conform and conjure up some pretty wicked goodness, whether you're proud of it or not, you created it; its yours; you birthed it.  Which ultimately makes YOU an ARTIST.  And you know what?  Not everybody has to like YOUR form of ART, but it is what is is... ART.

Before I began my photographic journey, to be very very honest, I never saw myself sitting in an actual office setting.  As fun as that is for some (and I'm not being sarcastic), its not me.  I always knew I was made for more, and as horrible as they may sound, I promise no job is beneath me, because I will praise Him anyway, however, I somehow knew that being in an office wasn't my calling. (and it still may be in the future, but not in this very moment).  As soon as my feet heal, I'll be looking to get a part-time... hoping at a preschool somewhere.  I want to be around kids more, and feel that in this way, I'll be able to give back, which has been heavy on my heart lately; there's just so many benefits to this!


Now, please don't get me wrong here, because there are in fact creative office settings, and there are in fact ways you can be creative, and give back creatively within your job, but for me, personally, I feel God is using me in a different manner.  Although we are all made in His image, our journey is not all the same.  The rewarding destination, however?  Yes.  {ps.  creativity is in the eye of the beholder}

Once I began my photographic journey, I began to realize that yeah, I loveeee all that artsy fartsy stuff! Its so ME.  I love design, imagination, and the spirit of which it all derives.   Its fascinating and it gives me the warm fuzzies.  And then I began to notice it wasn't just on the outside that I enjoyed all of this stuff, but, it was on the inside, too.  I enjoy whacky colors, and for as long as I can remember I always always enjoyed interior decorating.  I used to decorate and re-arrange my bedroom just about every 6 months or so when I was in middle school, and even before then, I knew what symmetry was, and that I was addicted.  I knew what balance was, and how it was a must with umm...just about everything, one way or another.  I knew that I loved to take pictures, and people actually thought they were good... good enough for me to actually somewhat kinda sorta believe what they thought.  ha.  I've always loved HAIR, and styling it, and never getting my hair cut the same, because I don't like "same"; I like different.  I like different results, and I thrive on results and finished product!  I knew that although my own fashion didn't convey my love for fashion, either way, I knew it made me happy on the inside and got me excited about piecing odd with even more odd.  I knew that "typical" wasn't apart of my vocabulary, and I also knew that being bored was just plain boring.  I knew that my perfectionism didn't just apply to my color coordinated closet, but to how I arranged even my drawer of silverware.  I knew I lived my life through lyrics.  I knew that my curtains had to hang a certain way and be a certain distance from each other.  Some may call this OCD, but I call this visual satisfaction!  My atmosphere was my creative outlet.... always. 

....I can go on, but my point is, I was created by my Creator to be a creative being. Its been in my blood for as long as I can remember, but...

It has finally hit me. 

I may not be as good as some may think, but to me, I AM GOOD.  I am never fully satisfied, but GOOD, I am.  And I'm not afraid to announce that!  {yes, toot toot}

I recently read a quote stating that if you don't know how to explain something, then you simply don't know it.  I find this completely false. 

You know when I first started school (and this is an entirely different post), I couldn't explain WHY I positioned my subjects in my images the way I did, I just knew it felt natural, and it happened naturally.  Later, I came to realize there was a term for this so called, "Rule of Thirds".  We were later asked to define this, and my mind went blank.  I didn't know how, I just knew HOW.  It happened without my thinking... it just was.  Now, I'm not boasting here, but I am explaining rather, what is... natural. 

Its okay to naturally love what I do, and its okay to be PROUD of what I do.  Its okay to admit, "I'm a photographer."  and its okay to shamelessly fill out paper work, as"self employed".   

It is what I do.  It is what God has called me to do, and its taken me a good 5+ years to slowly figure this out.  Not to mention this is only the BEGINNING... I have no clue where He is taking me next, but I'm ready, and always preparing and searching. 

Your calling may not be like mine, but it is YOURS.  My husband has um zero artsy fartsy fibers in him {although, he can curl some mean curly ribbon}, but he is the best mathematician, people person I have ever met, and God has used him in so many different ways throughout his career.   Its amazing to see and witness.  (ps. Machining is an art form, in my opinion)

Don't miss your calling in fear of owning it.
   

Be PROUD of what you do, or no one else will.  BELIEVE in what you do, or no one else will. 

{ps. I personally seek creativity and art in everything.... EVERYTHING. There is always more than meets the eye.}

Faith, Love, & Calling, 

Casey 

Its Friday!

 ::insert happy dance::


Hmm... I gotta think of theme for Friday, because after all, Friday isn't just any day.  No no.  Friday is THE day of the week.  Its where you wanna be.  Its where all the cool kids hang out.  Not to mention, its where I compile and consolidate my to-do list of the to-do's I didn't do throughout the week.

geez.


let's see...

- check emails (this is an everyday thing, obviously.  however, i don't always have the time to sit and write)
- make list for Christmas Mini's  (for those of you that don't know, I'm a photographer and Christmas Mini's are on the horizon, and I've got a snazzy little get up to set up!)
- make lists for wreaths (my mother was born and raised in Tar Heel country, and up there you can't drive passed a house that doesn't have a wreath adorning the front door.  This holiday season, I plan on bringing the "south" to my hood, and adorning my own door with a personal diy wreath)
- glitter wooden clips/pins - to do on Monday  (i got this idea off of Pinterest (duh, where else?), and who doesn't love glitter?)
- fold clothes and put away (ugh. yeah yeah)
- blog themes?  (i'm workin' on it, folks)
- purchase new sample products (with my business taking on a new look and feel, it only makes sense to have new goodies to go along with it)
- hang up decor in living room (they have places, however, at the moment, their place is on the floor below their actual place)
- location hunting  (i'm always on the hunt for somewhere new to shoot)
- write down dr. appts in calendar (i literally have 4 calendars... 2 of them need to be updated)
- call dr. to change appt.  (crossing fingers Tuesday will be the day I remove these bandages from my feet)
- get money out of the bank (i loathe trips to the bank, and only because I'm too lazy to go)
- call garbage service (we make payments every 3 months.  which, I think is THE weirdest thing)
- boudoir marathon flyer (boudoir marathon... gotta make a flyer... a pretty frilly one)



Woosah!!

Happy and Blessed Friday, everyone!!
Hope your weekend is faboosh and fabulous!




Faith, Love, and To-do's,
Casey