The skinny.

Okay, seriously, folks... Do you think Adele really knows just how beautiful she is??  Geez.  This girl is gorgeous!  And not just on the outside, but the inside.  I love her confidence, her attitude, and ohh that voice.  I love love love her!

And you know what, she isn't a size 0, and you know what?  She doesn't care.

I guess it just saddens me to know some people believe that skinny is the only sexy, or really, that body image is the only sexy.

I was once told not too long ago that I was prettier when I was thinner.  Hmm... okay, yeah, I can see that.  I think I was, too, but I wasn't exactly the prettiest person on the inside.  I was judgmental, somewhat snotty, and thought my poop didn't stink.   In my thin days, I never really cared about my weight, and maybe it was because I was always active, but to me, my weight was just a number.  I did however, care about the way I looked.  If I didn't look like Britney Spears, I didn't look good at all.

Now, I am 200+ lbs, and although I really can't stand all this jelly,  I am grateful.  Grateful, my heart is in a better place.  Grateful I'm not the person I was 5 years ago.  Grateful, that the number one thing on my mind isn't how much I weigh or how "skinny" I look.  Grateful, that I am healthy... on the inside.

However, I know I need to get crackin' on losing weight, because sometime very soon, I'd like to have another baby.  But at this weight, I'm not going risk anything.  I want to have the healthiest pregnancy possible... possible being what I know I can control, and I know I can control my weight.  All of that other stuff, well, its in God's hands.  And although this is a whole 'nother blog post, I can't wait until my feet heal, so I can start working out, again, although we have a love/hate relationship.

So anywho, what defines sexy to you?  What makes you sexy?



Faith, Love, and Sexy!
Casey

Perfect no more.

By this, I am speaking of my feet. Yes, my feet.

Yesterday, I went to the "foot doctor" for one very specific reason, and I came out with many very specific reasons on why I need surgery on not one but both feet!  All my life I have boasted to my sisters on just how beautiful my feet were, but apparently yes, beauty is only skin deep.

So the surgery, you're asking... what's it for? What's the purpose of slicing my precious feet open? Well apparently, the same bones in both feet are stretching farther apart than they are supposed to, like wayyy farther, and they're going to have to go in with the knife and whatever else to move those bones back to where they are naturally supposed to be. Not to mention they're going to put rods in place to help reform what needs to be reformed. This alone freaks me out. lol

I'll be having surgery more than likely next month on the 22nd. Not sure though, because I have a busy work month in August, and well, I need my feet to shoot.  But we'll see.  The real bummer is me not going to be able to work out.  Recovery time is 8-10 weeks, and maybeeeeee 6 weeks for the elliptical.  Its a real bummer, because finally, finally, I am at a point where I enjoy working out, and I've kept it up longer than a few days. lol  And now, my elliptical is really going to be used as a clothes hanger!

So yeah... just thought I'd share the horror of what my feet are about to endure.  Not to mention, I'll have to wear those hideous hospital boots. Major ew.

Faith and Love,
Casey

Strange Feeling?

Or lack there of.  Not sure, exactly what is taking place, but I almost want to say I now have will-power.  Yeah, will power.  Sounds strange to me, too!  Will power to say no to that delicious newly advertised Banana Pudding milkshake.  And anyone that knows, knows this Southern gal digsssss her banana pudding! Oh sweet heaven.  Yep.  That's exactly what it is. Sweet sweet heaven.   However, lately, heaven has been me saying, "No." to that sweet banana shake.  It has been me saying, "I can do better."  It has been me saying, "This will not overpower me."  

And it has been me on that elliptical like there is no tomorrow.  In just two days, I burned 50 calories shy of 1,000.  Really?  Because I distinctly remember just 2 weeks ago, that 12 minute mark was border line flat line.  But today, that 12 minute mark is the home stretch to my warm up.  

Again, I will say I don't like odd numbers.  And if I'm at an odd number when my initial 20 minutes are up, then I will keep going.  And if at that point, the song currently playing on my ipod isn't over, I will again keep going.  And if then, the calories aren't at an even number, I will again, keep going.  And I will keep going until I feel like my legs are going to fall off.  (I'm on level 2, now btw. creeping up the ladder there if you will)  And when I hit 500+ calories in 45 minutes, I felt, yes, you guessed it, just like Tony the Tiger! Grrrrrrrrrrrreat!!  

And today, I feel great!  I feel great that I am making better food choices, and better life choices.  I feel great that I have the ultimate Trainer cheering me on and motivating me! He whispers in my ear, "10 more minutes"  or "50 more calories"  And then I hear my sister... "the flesh is weak, but with Him, the spirit is strong."  And then I think of her 9 mile hike + gear.  And you're telling me, I can't go for an extra 10 minutes?? ::hmph:: I'll show you Mr. Satan!  ha! okay! No really! I know, he will put whatever he can in my head to make me stop and step off, and believe me he tries veryyyy hard.

To simply put it, I'm proud!  I've only got 3 more weeks, and this time, there is absolutely NO looking back!  After all, I'm gonna have a Marine to answer to!  But really, and I know I say this a lot, but I'm tired of saying it, and not following through. I'm tired of beating myself up because I had ONE slip up.  I'm tired of giving up when I just started.  I'm at the point in my life where I must focus; focus on what's going to get me ahead in life, and what's going to get me to where He needs me to be.  I've never had this same motivation.  Never.  Its always been about the vanity.  Up until the last 2 weeks.  I have finally set my heart where it needs to be, and the rest is up to God, and with that being said, I know for a fact that I am in good hands, and that complete failure is not an option.

A little glimpse at my weekend.  Aislynn and I were overdue on a mini-me session.  Its been what? Since February.  So I figured since she got some very "Aislynn-esqe" clothes, why not snap a few of her sporting them?  

This is def my fave!

Hope everyone had a beautiful weekend!

Also, if you follow along, and I haven't discovered you yet, please feel free to leave a comment with a link to your own blog! I'd love to follow you!

Faith and Love, 

Casey

My OORAH of an Inspiration

This weekend was rough, and I won't go into details, but it was a very emotionally and physically draining weekend.  

Last week, Jr set up my brand new elliptical; something I hate with a passion, but know its going to do me some good, and no, I don't mean good as a clothes hanger, either.  I really really loathe this machine.  I mean even when I was thin and fit, this thing would kick my butt after a mere 5 minutes on it.  Not kidding... one time, it literally read that I needed to STEP OFF THE MACHINE.  Again, I kid you not. I didn't know machines could do that. 

So we head to the store to initially pick out a treadmill.  You know, something I can do while catching up on my Sex & the City episodes.  Well... the more I thought about it, and the more I thought about the impact on my bad knee, and then the time I'd have to be on that thing in comparison to the time I'd be on the elliptical, it was really a no brainer.  I didn't like my decision, but I knew it was the best decision.

So back to Jr setting it up... Now, he's no Bob Villa, and I wanted to make sure I wouldn't come crashing down because a screw was loose, so I hopped on the thing to give it its first go-round.  6-7 minutes later, I was still on it, and oh how exciting, I wasn't near death. And OH, how even more exciting when I saw that I burned 50+ calories!  Say what????? I didn't think this machine had so much power.  Me gusta! 

So the next day I did my first 20 minute work out... I was inching closer to death around the 12 minute mark, but my jam packed awesomely awesome ipod and its awesomely awesome choice of playlist music helped ease the pain.  And then... poof, I was done!  Just like that, and OH how exciting, I was ALIVE! And I felt alive!  Not sure if it was the endorphins from the actual workout, or the fact that I wasn't dead.  Either way, I had a Tony the Tiger moment; I felt grrrrrrreat!!!  

So the next day came, and I did the same, but this time burning less calories. A bit of a bummer for this perfectionist.  Then I got on it again, and burned even more calories. And then again, and even more calories.  205.2 in 33 minutes, and yes, I'm still on level uno. My best yet! GO ME!  I could have stopped at my 20 minutes, but I saw the 200 mark in sight, and I went for it!  Plus, I don't like odd numbers... they bug me; they really do.

Then... and then.... this weekend. It was one thing after another.  One blow after another.  This was the only holiday weekend my husband has off during the entire year, and that's how it went down.  Not exactly my idea of time spent together, but hey, I was thankful for other events that did occur.  Not going to lie though, I was super glad the weekend was over... I needed a fresh start and a fresh new outlook.  Besides, I felt like a blimp after not working out since Saturday morning right before our AC blew.

Then Tuesday came, and then Wednesday came.  I passed up the elliptical without any acknowledgement.  Like it wasn't even there... sitting directly in the middle of my living room.  Yeah, who'd notice it, right??  I guess you could say I hadn't forgotten about it, but rather, I chose to ignore it.  I didn't have the energy, the mind set, or the motivation.  I had even forgotten to eat... and me? Forget to eat??  Does it look like I ever forget to eat?  No. 

Today, I got up early, and not by choice, but for the 5th night in a row, I couldn't sleep, and me trying to force myself to sleep only lead to day-long headaches.  I must admit though, the day went by rather quickly, but still I had not hopped on that dang piece of machinery.  

And then.... and then... I get a letter from my sister; my new inspiration.  My goodness, I miss her so much.  And my goodness, I cannot express enough how much I am proud of her; proud of who she is becoming, and who she is going to be.  Just with her in basic training these past weeks, she's become so wise, and she has dove into God's word, and its not for show... its for her; for her to make it through another second, another minute, another hour, another day, and another week, another month.  She's speaks of nothing but positivity and hope, and of the strength God is giving her.  The strength she wouldn't have had, had she not fully trusted in Him to carry her through this training.  I can't even begin to imagine the mental transformation that all the recruits are forced to make, but she's doing it with ease.  And when life gets me down, I think of my sister, my beautiful sweet Chelsey... I think of her struggles and her triumphs, and I think, if she's going through all of that, I can at least try, and just as she makes me proud, I want to make her proud.

So, today, I hopped on that elliptical, and did my best yet.  206.2 calories in 27 minutes (and yes, still on level uno hehe).  And I promise this isn't an imposter typing up this blog... its me, so that tells you I survived! YES!

Goodness... just as she asks that we write her every.single.day, I wish she could do the same for me... I need that constant motivation just as she does.  I can't wait to see her in 5 weeks. FIVE weeks!! I can't believe it!! Seems like just yesterday we were waving her off, but then I think of all those times I just wanted to pick up the phone and say hello... to hear her voice of annoyance whenever I call too much.  Yeah, I miss that, too.  I miss everything about her.  Her rolling of the eyes, her big butt, and her fashion faux paux.  I miss it all, and it makes time seem like an eternity. But soon, I will re-live these moments, and I am just completely over-joyed!! Ecstatic beyond belief!

I miss you, sissy, and I love you dearly.

Supporting our gal, Chelsey! 

(please excuse my hot mess of a hair... 

We had no AC this past weekend, and well, the humidity is always out to take revenge on my lady lovely locks.)

Faith and Love,

Casey